Life is a roller coaster ride. It gives you happiness and sadness, tears of joy and tears of sorrow, it gives you the feeling of love, makes you feel all tingly while in love, and then, it gives you Pain. Pain which cannot be healed by putting an ointment, like when you do when you fall while playing.
Pain is inevitable. How much you try to avoid it, you just cant. Other pains can be healed, but the pain which you feel in your heart, cannot be. The pain which life gives you, you cannot avoid it, nor can it be healed by any medicine. Well, thats what life is. And you have to go on with it, no matter how much pain you are enduring. And as it is said in The Quran, Verily, with hardship comes ease, this pain will also be healed, with time, and hopefully.. With love.
A week has passed and it feels that I have been living for a million years. Well, thats what it felt like, in the the past week. A day felt like a thousand years, without talking to him, or more, without even having a glance at him. I have been tired of crying to myself every night and I actually was surprised of how many tears I have in this very small body of mine. And now I am tired, tired of everything, of him, of his absence, of his ignorance.
The past week had been an unsaid tradition, of him coming late after I slept, and then in the morning when I would be ready to leave for the office, he would be sleeping and would come late to office, not giving me a chance to speak to him on personal matter. Because obviously, he was the boss in the office. Whenever I would try to talk to him, he would either give me some work, or better, just ignore me. And aunty, being the detective herself, has been interrogating me for the past week, indirectly and directly, whether something was wrong between us. I now actually feel scared to go infront of her, fearing her questions. But I dont blame her. She looked worried for his son, who was literally exhausting himself with work.
Standing infront of the mirror, I looked at myself, dark circles with huge bags under my eyes, my lips dont have that smile which was always there, my eyes have lost the shine, and my cheeks were slightly sunken.
I miss him.
I miss him so much. His loving gaze, the way he looked at me with his piercing gaze, the way his lips twitched upwards whenever he talked to me, the way he smirked while teasing me, the way he used to kiss my forehead and nose every now and then, the way he held my hand and drew circles, the way he would grab my waist while kissing me, the way he used to caress my cheeks, the way he wrapped his arms around me while sleeping. Everything.
I was missing his touch. Oh Ya Allah, I was craving for his touch.
As I saw myself in the mirror thinking of all this, a tear escaped my eye. He now didnt even hugged me in the night when he was sleeping. Earlier, whenever the light was gone, and I was alone in our room, he would immediately come in the room with a candle, wherever he was, either asking something or searching for something, never showing that it was because of me that he came, as I was afraid of the dark.
But now, he didnt.
I came out of the bathroom after taking a shower and saw him sleeping, or worse, pretending to be asleep. Shaking my head, I headed towards the dressing table and tied my hair in a bun. Taking my bag, I headed for downstairs, but not before looking at him, who was still pretending.
"Yazan, you can wake up now. I am going" I said and closed the door with a bang and walked down.
"Beta, where are you going today? Its sunday" uncle asked looking up from his newspaper and I smiled at him. The only thing that was keeping me sane from the last week was these two people who cared for me and loved me more than their son. Alhumdulillah.
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Dreams, Not So Romantic ✔(A Tale Of Two Muslims)Spiritual
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