When I Look At You ****IN EDITING****

Chapter 8: Let Me Be Here For You

"What the fuck do you want?" I yell backing away from him.

"Ava listen to me I-"

"No fuck you."

He grabs me and instantly I start to kick him. I dont even want him touching me I hate him so much.

"AVA STOP. FUCKING LISTEN TO ME." He yells getting my attention.

I stop moving knowing its probably better to listen to his bullshit because I wasn't as strong as he is. And honestly because it scared me.

"Ava, I was coming up here to say something to you...something not nice. Till I saw you, touching his computer desk, hugging his pillow and then now crying. I-I didn't know that you really loved him that much." he says sincerely sorry.

"Well what was your first fucking clue Einstein? I was with him for three years. He was my everything Justin! And I didn't exactly like your remark earlier. He took my virginity, the only person ive ever slept with thank you very much." I snap at him.

"I know I know. Im so sorry, I just your brother and I dont get along and I guess I pushed my hatred of him onto you. You didn't deserve it."

"Damn right I didn't."

"I really am so sorry. Please forgive me, I feel so bad now."

"Well you fucking should. I'm hurting just as much as you are Justin okay? I miss him too, every fucking day. I understand he was your brother but I loved him too. Its hard to get up every morning knowing he is fucking gone. That I will never see him again, never feel his touch again. And having you, his brother who he looked so much like fucking hate me is so unbearable. GOD I HATE YOU." I yell and slap him on the chest.

"Ava please, please just give me another chance okay. Please. For Jax." he says trying to control my hits at him.

I hit him again and then I just break down once again, I let him pull me into him, hugging me. I cry like that for a good twenty minutes before I let go of him. I wipe my face and the residue is left on my hand, my nose is running and im just a mess.

"Let me be here for you...please." he says his eyes pleading with me.

I think for a minute, very hesitant because of all the distrust I have for him. Finally after what i'm sure seemed like forever I gave him his answer.

"Yes. BUT its going to take a long time. I dont trust you. You have been so mean to me its going to take awhile for you to earn back my trust. So dont expect me to just accept your kindness." I say coldly.

"Okay okay, ill take that. Thank you." he says opening his arms for a hug.

"Whoa whoa...once is enough for now." I say putting my hands up.

"Okay okay. I get it." he says backing off.

I get off the bed and go to the bathroom, I wash my hands and try my best to clean up my face. I go back out to the bedroom and I see Justin has left. Part of me is relieved that we "made up" but its going to take a long time for me to ever trust him again. But im doing it for Jax, not for him. I still haven't opened the box but I decide to just do that when I get back home, I just want to leave. I go back downstairs and Niall is waiting for me on the couch. Him and Mr.Carter seemed to have gotten along very well which is good. I know he was nervous about meeting them, afraid they would know who he was.

"Okay Niall, lets get home." I say holding the box.

"Okay. It was nice meeting all of you." he says getting up from the couch.

"Yes, if you ever need anything steel related or hey just want to talk heres my card." Mr. Carter says pulling out a business card. He always carried so many with him.

"Thanks sir." Niall says grabbing the card and putting it in his wallet.

"Well Ava it was nice to see you. You'll have to stop by again soon and next time bring your other friends." Mrs. Carter says winking at me.

"Oh okay. Will do." I say leaning and kissing her on the cheek. I hug Mr. Carter goodbye and I can see that Justin wants to give me a hug but he doesnt push it. Smart guy.

"Oh Ava wait." Mr. Carter says stopping me from leaving.

"Yes sir?" I say.

"We have something else for you." He says as he begins leading me to the garage. Niall follows us and eventually we get into the garage and its filled with Jax's car collection.

"Um sir, whats going on?" I ask.

"Well, he has so many cars, and I know that you dont have a car..." he begins.

"Oh no sir." I say knowing what he is going to say next.

"We would like you to have on of his cars. You can pick anyone you want, most he hasnt driven but you may pick, except the Corvette because Anna and I bought him that for his 18th birthday."

"Oh my god sir I can't." I say overwhelmed.

"Please, we want you to have one. Jax would have too. Please hun, take a car." he says pressing the matter.

"Okay." I say my voice cracking. I didnt want to argue with him, that would be disrespectful so I start walking around the huge garage. I see the Bentley but I just walk right past it. That would be way too hard, just too painful. I stop at one car and im not quite sure what kind it is. I call Mr.Carter and Niall over because this car just drew me to it.

"What kind of car is this?" I ask pointing to the sleek black vehicle.

"That is a 2012 Aston Martin with a V12 engine. Very nice car." Mr. Carter says to me.

"Has Jax...or did Jax ever drive this one?" I ask hoping he will say no.

"No, he never got the chance to." Mr.Carter says.

"This one."

"Okay." He says and goes to a box hanging on the wall close to the door. He opens it and grabs a set of keys, he walks back over to me and hands them to me. He sets it in my hand, and closes my fingers over them.

"Take good care of it Ava." he says and I notice tears are starting to form in his eyes.

"I will sir." I say trying my hardest not to cry too.

"Well we will have it brought to your house and dont worry keep the keys, we always have an extra set. It should be there in a week or so."

"Thanks again." I say though I could never thank him enough.

"Anything for you hun." he says and kisses me on the forehead like a father would his child.

I then turn to Niall and he has this shocked look on his face, and I dont blame him.