The Guy In My Mind

Chapter 2

"Nope," said Blossom, not so much answering the question from the stranger on the couch as just surmising her feelings about the entire situation. She slid off the cushions and backed away shaking until her butt bumped against the wall. "Nope. Na-uh."

Blossom watched him spread his hands (beautiful, perfectly proportioned hands) in a non-threatening gesture. "Fair enough. We haven't really met yet. I'm your boyfriend - I'm here to help you. My name is Matthew."

Indignation rose out of the flood of information, overtaking her fear. "No, you can't be Matthew, that's my number one baby-"

"Your number one baby name, I know." He smiled, and it was alarming how much it put her at ease. "Because of Matthew from Downton Abbey, and that Dan Stevens guy who played him that you've always thought was adorable. But lately you've been worried that you might never have the chance to use the name because who knows if you'll ever have a baby? And you've even considered using it for a dog name, but it's obviously a person name, and you don't want to look tragic naming a dog after the baby you never had, so you've just tucked the whole thing away in the back of your mind. Me being called Matthew is much better, don't you think?"

A desperate laugh burst from her lips. "Right. A dog called Matthew would be ridiculous. Much better idea, subconscious brain, to name my imaginary boyfriend Matthew. So much more sensible."

He shrugged, unfazed. "I'm your perfect partner, Blossom. I'm here to love you."

"Stop talking, right now." It was too much; she needed space from his handsome features and winsome words so she could work this mess out. She fell silent, observing him, waiting for him for fade or give some indication that he was just an illusion. But dammit, he looked real. There were indents on the couch where he sat, and she could see he had no fuzzy edges or missing details. He was a whole, perfect, gorgeous man.

But no matter how real he looked, he wasn't. Even if a stranger who happened to match the exact mental image of the guy she'd been building inside her head broke into her house and pulled up a chair beside her, there was no way he could have known about all that Matthew/baby name stuff.

Just like Mr Mistoffelees. Her brain, her sad, sad, depressed brain, had created her a boyfriend. It was impressive, but it couldn't keep going. Blossom closed her eyes again and whispered, "Not there. Definitely not there."

She stayed that way for several minutes, repeating the phrase occasionally, willing the illusion to disappear. Eventually, she took a deep breath, counted backwards from ten, and opened her eyes.

The couch was empty. "Oh." Two emotions rose within her: gladness that he was gone, and a bizarre but undeniable emptiness.

"Hey, Bloss?" She spun to face the greeting, seeing Matthew at the doorway to the kitchen. "You okay? You looked like you were having a moment, so I gave you some space."

"What are you still doing here?" she hissed, more frustrated than scared now. "I just told my brain to get rid of you!"

"Your conscious brain, sure." He learned against the door frame, hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans, which hung artfully on his slender hips, showing just a sliver of his toned belly. "But apparently, your sub-conscious brain wants me here even if your conscious brain wants me gone – and the sub-conscious always wins. Do you want another glass of wine?"

"No," she said, her fingers shaking harder as she lifted them to her temples. "I'm clearly losing my mind, I don't think more alcohol is going to help that."

"Well, how about-"

"Stop talking!" she yelled, the sound magnified as it bounced against the walls of her small lounge room. "Shut up! You're not real!"