What's Your Problem?

31 9 11

Sam had grown to accept that he was deeply flawed; but, he's just beginning to learn he's still worthwhile...

Let me give you some help understanding where he's at now, at 34, by relating a few experiences he's had since he was 17...

The year was 2000 and Sam was in Israel with his father and mother, Dad being an international businessman.

Sam had turned 17 in January and, before the year was over, he'd heard of 8 deaths and many more wounded in what were called terrorists acts, in Israel.

Even though he was nowhere near any of the attacks, he had an acute encounter with fear of death and he entered a cycle of anxiety and depression---swiftly "managed" with medication.

Quite naturally, over the years, Sam's anxious depression and/or depressed anxiety (and the meds that did more harm than good) led him to waver in his sense of self, drift into homeless travels, and participate aimlessly in all manner of unhealthy activities...

When he was 20, living in the U.S.A., he'd happened to hear about 5 deaths from terror-related acts; but, he'd also found out about 141 terroristically-blamed deaths in Israel.

His rootless anxiety soared and he visited an urgent care facility to get more of the meds he'd stopped taking, while not stopping the illicit drugs...

By the age of 27, Sam had spent 200 days in jail (in increments of 3 or 4 days at a time), a total of 6 months in various rehab centers, and fathered 9 children by as many women...

At 29, he spent a year behind bars for aggravated robbery.

This is when things took a slight curve...

His cell-mate was somewhat religious but certainly not fundamentalistically-inclined. That man helped Sam realize that anxiety was a medical term for what most folks called fear and that depression was another medical label for simple self-pity.

Sam slowly realized that turning anxiety/depression into fear/self-pity wasn't a quick fix; but, he, also, slowly began to see that he might be able to face his fear and work on his self-pity---perhaps...

From 30 to 34, Sam was still unstable but not quite so suicidally-inclined in his actions; and, this was in spite of increases in terrorist activity...

So, to return to now:

Sam had grown to accept that he was deeply flawed; but, he's just beginning to learn he's still worthwhile...


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