A/N: Alright, here is the beginning of chapter two. Please comment if youd like more..but I don't know if anyone other than my two friends have bothered to read it or not..soo... yeah >.> -Gerard
I walked through the school hallways silently. (I pictured it all badass..I dunno about you..) I passed Lucas and all of his friends, they all laughed happily with eachother, but the cute one caught my attention..Quinton, that's his name I think. I made my way to my second hour Art class, I had two art classes, Intro To Art and Advanced Art. I sat down at my little art desk, no one sat by me ever though. I pulled out my sketchbook and finished the drawing of Lucas and started drawing a scenery on a fresh piece.
"Hey, you mind if I sit with you?" Said a voice. I lifted my head to come face to face with a girl with curly long black hair and bright green eyes. "I don't want to sit by Jack and Robert." She said throwing a nervous glance at the two Jock Gang members. Robert was Bulldog.. I nodded and she sat down across from me. She was new here. "Those pervs kept looking down my shirt." She said in disgust.
"Men." I said in a sarcastic tone, she smiled at me.
"I'm Casey. And I know your name. Its Xander, right?" She asked. I nodded.
"Hey Girly, he's a fag, be warned." Jack said across the room. Casey flipped them off.
"Idiots." Casey muttered with a frown, she looked at me. "So I talked to my friend's friend named Lucas. And I asked him where I should sit here in Art because I complained about the pervs. He said you, but he told me you don't talk much." Casey explained
"He's right." I said with a slight nod.
"Well I don't care whether you talk or not because you're a cutie. So its alright if I sit with you?" Casey asked again. She was very..bubbly.
"I don't mind." I said, I realized I started drawing Quinton into the picture I was working on. It didn't help that he was shirtless in the drawing either.
"So you're openly Gay?" Casey asked.
"Yea." I answered. She was easy to talk to, maybe its cause she's not an asshole.
"That's cool. How were your parents with that? I heard coming out could be rough." Casey said.
"Fine." I lied, I drew Quintins eyes flawlessly, I felt creepy drawing him.
"That's good." CaSey said smiling. I nodded lightly and I was tempted to scribble my drawing out, but I just couldn't."how do you know Lucas?" Casey asked.
"Around." I said quietly, I knew he'd kill me if I told her that he was my brother. Casey started drawing a stick figure kitten, her expression showed great concentration. I watched her blankly.
"How do you?" I asked.
"My friend Luna has a giant crush on him. So I met him yesterday." Casey answered. I have heard Lucas talk to Mom about Luna. He had a giant crush on her as well.
"Why do you have art?" I asked as she glared at her child-like drawing.
"Well, I wanted to learn to draw better." Casey said looking up at me.
"It comes from inside, Casey. You can't learn." I said quietly.
"I can try." Casey said smiling. I narrowed my eyes and shifted. She was stubborn. "Ya know, I consider you interesting. We should hang out sometime." Casey said brightly.
"Maybe." I said. I was still drawing, it kind of made me nervous, that she found me interesting.
I sat in my room drawing. I was putting every tiny detail of Quinton in the picture. I had a cigarette in my lips, the smoke going through my body. I knew Lucas was with Quinton upstairs, I felt like a creep. I set my cigarette down in an ashtray and I went to my nightstand pulling out a plastic baggie of pills.
Sure, the first step to recovery was when you accepted the fact that you were addicted. I knew I was, but I had no intention of stopping. I took out two little pills of Nembutal out of the baggie and swallowed them with coffee. Sure, they could kill me, but I didn't care. My ribs and chest hurt.
I sat down at my desk again, I was running out of candles so I hurried up my picture. The pill took action and numbed the pain of my ribs. My body felt floaty, all my emotions melted away. I ran my fingers up the side of my arm and got to my inner elbow, scars. Track marks from the numerous needles I had punctured through the skin. If Lucas saw them, he'd kill me. I moved back to my nightstand and pulled out a black band and a syringe full of meth. I shrugged out of the thoughts of Lucas and placed the syringe in between my teeth as I tied the band around my bicep. This drug would hopefully numb me more.
My blood flow slowed and I stabbed the needle into my vein, I smirked at the small stabbing feeling. I pressed the plunger of the syringe down, I could feel the liquid meth rush into my veins. I finished and out them away. What else could I do? I had cocaine left, I could buy more drugs sometime later. I pulled out the baggie of powdered cocaine and made two lines if the white powder. Snorting it would give me a rush.
When I snorted the lines I wiped my nose and put the shit away. I laid down, high off the drugs, images danced along the ceiling in my mind. I watched them and eventually fell asleep.
A/N: okay..tell me whatcha think? How feel it? It'd mean a lot.. this was a tough piece to write. Thanks. Read and comment. -Gerard
YOU ARE READING
I'm Not Okay (I Promise)Fanfiction
Lucas Gold a fifteen year old boy and his friends discover that his older brother has been doing drugs for years secretivley. Will he get clean..or will he fail to do so? Lucas and his friends Zeke, Seth, and Quinton will all try hard. But first thi...