Chapter 22 Danni

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My throwing up has become more regular now. I didn't know how many weeks pregnant I was but I couldn't go to school today. I was laying in bed sick. I haven't had much sleep and I was feeling all over the place. Narla has been keeping an eye on me today by texting me but the screen light worsened my headache. I slowly crawled out of bed, feeling dizzy and weak. I made my way into the kitchen to grab some water. I took a small sip before hearing the door. I furrowed my eyebrows and walked towards it. I opened it and saw Andy standing there with her hands in her pockets.

"Andy?" I questioned, quickly feeling self conscious about how I look.

"Can I come in?" She asked, her eyes never leaving mine.

"Yes," I nodded, stepping aside. She followed me in and kept her gaze to me. I guided her into the living room where she sat on the couch next to me.

"Not at school?" She asked, looking over me.

"I'm just not feeling well," I replied, my head still spinning.

"Narla asked me this morning to come and checkup on you," I mentally wanted to slap Narla. Ever since I told her I kissed Andy, she's been all over me.

"You didn't have to,"

"Well you must be pretty sick if she asked me too,"

"I'm not,"

"Speaking of sick, you should be in bed," Andy spoke, getting off the couch and extending a hand.

"I was in bed,"

"I can tell," she smirked, slowly lifting me off the couch. I felt my head going all over the place and nearly threw up.

"You okay?" She asked, holding me in her arms to steady me.

"Yes," I replied, walking towards my room. Before I could get there, I ran towards the toilet and started throwing up.

"It's alright," Andy soothed, holding my tangled hair back. I couldn't help but to throw up again.

"Did you eat something off?" She asked, crouching next to me.

"No," I replied, knowing exactly what it was.

"Maybe you have like a cold,"

"Yeah," I replied, wiping my mouth and flushing the toilet.

"Have you eaten today?"

"I can't keep it down,"

"I can change that," she smiled softly. She held my hand and guided me towards my room. She guided me to the bed, pulling the covers down. I slid in and she pulled them up to my head. Her hand found the top of my head.

"You don't have a fever," she mumbled, looking into my eyes. I knew that Andy was smart. I just hope she didn't figure this out.

"Are you only nauseous?" She asked, sitting on the edge. I looked down. I knew if I answered that she'd know. I felt her hands intertwine with mine. I looked up to find her looking softly at me.

"Have you had your period?" I shook my head. I watched as her eyes showed shock but her face remained emotionless.

"Are you pregnant?" She asked. I felt the tears well in my eyes.

"It's okay, just please tell me it's not Beatrice's," the problem was I didn't know who's it was. Was it Beatrice's or one of the men from mums punishing?

"I don't know," I whimpered, letting the tears fall from my eyes. Andy scooted across the bed and laid next to me. She pulled me into her arms, running her fingers through my hair. I rested my head against her chest and listened to her breathing. Her heart was racing yet she was so calm.

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know," I replied. I haven't really been one for abortion but there's no way I'm ready for a child.

"Whatever you decide, I'll be here okay?" I looked up into her eyes.

"Okay," I replied, letting myself relax in her arms. She always made me feel walk, safe and secure.

"Danni, why did you kiss me?" I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Because I wanted too," I replied, feeling my cheeks heat up.

"But I'm not good enough for you-"

"Please don't say that," I whispered, looking into her eyes. She shook her head disagreeing with me.

"If you weren't good enough for me, would you make me feel safe and secure?" She kept her ice cold persona.

"If you didn't care about me like that Andy, then why be here? Why keep being here for me?" She didn't say anything. I could see that she was fighting with herself on the inside.

"If I didn't think you were good enough for me I wouldn't of kissed you,"

"You shouldn't have," she replied, her voice croaky.

"Because you're messed up? We're all messed up Andy, that's just life,"

"Not like me,"

"Tell me how?" I asked her. She sighed.

"I can't, it's too-"

"Personal?" She nodded. We remained quiet. Her fingers still ran through my hair and our eyes interlocked.

"Do you have any feelings towards me Andy?" I asked, feeling my heart pound in my chest. I watched her fight with herself again. I remembered what Narla said about her not being able to admit it.

"Yes," she whispered, looking away from me.

"Then why fight it?" I asked, grabbing her jaw softly and turning it back to me. Her eyes showed so much emotion.

"Because I don't do relationships,"

"Why?"

"I don't know," she choked. I saw tears welling in her eyes.

"You can talk to me Andy,"

"Talking doesn't change what happened,"

"No but it can help you let go," she didn't say anything. Everything inside of me just wanted to be with Andy. She makes me feel so safe and secure. The only problem was I didn't want her to end up like Erica. But then again she was different to Erica. There was something about Andy that made me want to tell her everything. Maybe I needed to let go too.

"You know how I said I couldn't tell you who abused me?"

"Of course."

"My mums the other person who abuses me," I whispered, looking away from her.

"She's done it ever since my dad died,"

"You can't stay here,"

"I'm not eighteen,"

"When are you eighteen?" She asked.

"Friday, and she comes back on Friday,"

"We will figure something out okay? It's only Wednesday," she whispered, tucking hair out of my face.

"Okay," I whispered, falling into her embrace and letting the tears fall from my eyes. This is so complicated.

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