Wherever you are (1D & 5sos)

Chapter 7

 Ashton's P.O.V

Michael trusted me with a razor blade! I could have cut myself! He really thought i was shaving! Actually i wanted to use it to make cuts again, but after i heard Niall and Michael laughing i couldn't do it anymore. I didn't just drop the razor blade accidentally. I threw it with all the power i had to the ground, causing it to break. Small pieces of plastic  are now  flying around me in the shower. The blade also fell out.. It was so easy. i could just grab the blade, make a cut and put my black hoodie on to hide the fresh cut.... But i didn't.. I wanted to wait until i was feeling worse. Then i would cut, until all the blood that streamed trough my veins would disappear into the sink and on the floor. But i wasn't ready to do that now.. Now i wanted to put my fluffy black hoodie on and just forget about the pain...

Michael's P.O.V

Ashton has already been in the shower for 1 hour.

I really trust Ashton, but i start to worry about what the voices said to him.. What if they told him again to kill himself .. What if they told him to cut again.. What if they told him to burn himself with the water while showering! That thought makes me jump up of the couch. 

"What's up Mikey?"

"Ashton!" Is the only thing i can scream before running up to Ashton's room. I kick against the door to open it as quickly as possible,

No Ashton..

Now i run to the bathroom and kick the door open, like i did with Ashton's room

"MIKEY!" Ashton screams, making the razor blade hes holding fly into the air.

"I KNEW YOU WOULD CUT!"

"Wait what? I threw the razor blade on the ground..."

"sure.."

"Look at me Mikey! You can check my wrists if you want?"

"But what if you started to cut on your stomach or hips?"

"Mikey, come on.. Have you ever seen me as calm as i am now?"

"Ashton, show me..."

"Trust me.!"

"how? You have the fucking razor blade still in your hand while wearing a hoodie and bracelets! What would you think if you caught me like that!"

Ashton slowly grabs the sleeve of his left wrist, rolls it up and shows me his wrist. His old scars are still visible in the light. Sometimes it looks like they shine when Ashton smiles..

"Other" is the only thing i say.

Ashton nods, he looks annoyed and a bit worried, like he didn't want to show me his other wrist.

"See? Nothing!"

"Put your pants down, Irwin.." 

Ashton's eyes become big.

"What?"

"you heard me.."

"But.."

"Just show me! I'm not a pedophile, i'm just trying to help you out!"

"I don't want to.."

"Do i have to pull them down for you?"

Sulking, he shook his head and slowly started to pull his sweatpants down. I quickly walked to the door and close it, making Ashton hopefully feel a bit more comfortable.