Dear Vaporizer, I Love You

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Dear Vaporizer,

I love you with all of my heart. You have helped make me a better person, better than I was before I met you. Before you, it was all smoke all the time and now, now it's vapor, something better - something purer. And for that, I am eternally grateful. You are truly are an incredible aspect of my life. You've stayed true to your word - that you'd always produce good vapor. And me, I've stayed true to my word and refrained from smoking in favor of vaporizing with you. I absolutely adore you for all that you've done. You've helped me through some of the most difficult times in my life thus far and while I may have made it through these turbulent times without you, it was undoubtedly better with you. I'd weather a thousand storms with you, giggling through the sputtering weather with its flickering lights and ominous clouds. For you, I'd have you repaired if you broke and if not, I'd find a replacement. But this is something you understand. I cannot be without a vape and if it's not you, then it must be another. But just know, I'll still remember you from time to time and when you come to mind, you'll brighten up my day. I'll sit and reminisce of all the good times we've had, the good times we've had together.

And just so we're clear and you know that I'm not writing this letter and sending it off en masse to all the vaporizers I love, this is to you, my favorite, my Volcano Vaporizer by Storz & Bickel. We are truly a match made in heaven. Me, someone who enjoys vaping, and you, a vaporizer that produces the best vapor I've ever encountered. You make it easy and you always work. What else could I ask for of you? To be extremely convenient? I guess I could and to that extent, you never let me down. You're something I've grown to rely on, a part of my life that I would prefer never to live without. I trust you feel the same, but then again, you're a desktop vaporizer powered by electricity, what could you possibly know of feelings? Not to belittle you, you're beautiful and I love you, but you make me feel good and you yourself seem to lack feeling entirely. You are a thing of beauty, an emotionless benefit to my life. So again, I love you for all that you are, everything you entail. You are an incredible machine, a vaporizing machine which creates vapor and then captures it in a balloon, allowing me to sip casually on your sweet vapor at my leisure. What a captivating display of engineering and science you are. Thank you for existing, you're truly one a million.

One of the main reasons why I love you is because the technology that you use to create the vapor that I inhale is so much better than the caveman-esque combustion instruments I was using before you. Now that I have you, no longer will I suffer the detrimental health effects of combustion's smoke. Instead, I'll bask in the joy that I believe to be the lesser evil. But how could you be evil when you do so much for me. You're such a beautiful thing. I truly adore you.

With a big digital display, you're easy for me to read. I never have to guess because you're always right there telling me exactly what I want to know. The way you shine, I can see you at night - you're beautiful even on the darkest nights in the darkest rooms. You might hum a bit while you're in use, but even that, a bit of white noise, does nothing less than caress my ears while I await your delicious vapor. Your big buttons are easy for me to press, even when I'm slightly inebriated after some drinks, and that in itself just makes you so precious to me.

I'll admit, you're not the first. I've tried others. There was even another before you. But you, you beautiful thing, you're the one I love most. The one that I wake up to every day and the one I see before I hit the sheets at night.

With all of my heart, I just want to thank you for being mine. You're everything I ever wanted in a plugin vaporizer. Please, do me this one solid and stay with me forever. Never break. Never cost me more than you have to. And always, absolutely always fill my bags with only the best, most potent, pure, and delicious vapor. For that, I will be eternally grateful.


Your owner (the one who adores you most)


Note: this love letter to a vaporizer was inspired by Whoopi Goldberg's editorial piece written for The Denver Post's The Cannabist, which was titled: "Whoopi Goldberg: My vape pen and I, a love story (column)". This letter, the one you're reading here on Wattpad, was written by and the vaporizer discussed is the Volcano by Storz & Bickel, which you can learn more about by clicking the "EXTERNAL LINK" below this story.

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