I woke up in a cold sweat. My chest heaved up and down. I looked around me in a panic. I was still in my car parked at the restaurant. I relaxed. It was just a dream, shit a fucking nightmare. I looked at my phone it it was 6:57am. I saw 3 missed call from Kels and 2 unread messages. I didn't bother reading her texts because I already know she was gonna be bitching about me leaving the girls with her moms meanwhile I was suppose to have them. I pulled up in front of her moms house as she was about to get in her car. She put her purse in her car and came walking to my car.
"I was worried?" She said.
"Bout What? What happened?" I asked her as I got out my car.
"I was worried about you..my mom said something happened at the club, that's why you dropped the girls off. I went to the club and they said they haven't seen you. I just...I just got worried" she said as she crossed her arms over her chest. I smirked at her. She still cared for a nigga.
"Yea...but I was in and out that's probably why no one saw me. Than I went for a drive. You know how I do when I get in my moods." I sad as I sat in the hood of my car. Kels walked closer to me.
"I would of picked the girls back up but it was late and I didn't want to wake them" I told her. She nodded. She was giving me a weird look.
"You ok? You don't look like yourself. You need a hair cut and shake up. And when has Quanell ever wore the same clothes two days in a row?" She asked with a giggled. I laughed. I didn't even notice.
"Yea I know..just been busy and shit" I said as I stood up from my car. She nodded while looking me in my eye. It was a shame. I couldn't even look her in the eye. I felt like she was looking right through me. She was. I was starting to feel that urge. I need a line, maybe two of coke. I was slowly getting addicted.
"Go home Que. Get some sleep. Don't be out here doing nothing stupid." She told me. I looked at her but quickly looked away nodding.
"You can't even look me in my eyes Que. what's going on with you?" She asked as she tried to reach for my arm but I stepped back from her. She gave me a confused look.
"I'll see you later Kels. I'll get the girls tomorrow" I told her as I got in my car and pulled off. I pulled up to the closest gas station. I went into the bathroom and locked the door. I poured two lines of coke on the back of my phone and sniffed it. I tilted my head back and enjoyed the feeling. The nightmare kept flashing in my head. I did two more lines and just like that I was no longer thinking about it. Coke was starting to become something I needed.
A tear fell from my eye as I sat in my car. I didn't want to think this but it was reality. I'm not stupid. I saw that look in so many peoples eyes and it never ended happy. It broke my heart seeing Que like that. When, how, did this happen. Where was the signs. He's kissing it. He was jittery. He couldn't stay still for shit. His eyes was so glossy. He's starting not to care about how he looks. I broke down in my car. My hands was shaking so much. How could he turn to cocaine. Was it my fault? I tried to call Que but it just rung.
2 weeks later...
Kali and I waited on the bench for Que. Today Kali starts PreSchool and it was bittersweet. I checked the time. It was 8:53am and school starts at 9:10am. He was suppose to be her a half hour ago. I have seen Que in almost 2 weeks. Whenever he would get the girls I would always be at school so I haven't saw him. I heard loud music and automatically knew it was him. He cane speeding in and parked. I rolled my eyes. Once he got out the car and I actually got a good look at him my heart shattered. He look like he lost 50lbs and his face looked sunk in. Kali went running to him. He says hi and we made our way in. As we was in there I couldn't help but notice how paranoid he was acting. We said our good bye to her and left. We walked to our cars in silence.
"What's going on Que?" I asked him. He lit a cigarette and blew out the smoke.
"What you mean?" He asked taking another puff. I snatched the cigarette from his militia and threw it down.
"Why you look like this huh? And when the fuck did you start smoking cigarettes?" I asked him. I was mad because he acting like this shit ain't a big idea.
"Look like what? I look the same?" He said. I shook my head. My eyes started to get watery.
"Why? Why you doing that shit?" I asked as a tear fell from my eye. He scratched his head and put his hands in his pocket. He struggled his shoulders.
"This the only shit that make me happy" he said. His voice cracked. He shook his head.
"Your have to daughters! Two daughters that need you. And you doing this shit. I can't believe you Que. Why you doing that shit!?" I sad.
"You act like I planned to do this shit Kels. Shit just happen!" He yelled. I pushed his chest.
"NO! Falling just happens! You just don't happen to sniff fucking coke." I yelled as I slapped him. Tears fell down my face.
"I'm sorry.." he whispered.
"If you doing that shit....I-I don't want you around them" I told him.
"What! You ain't taking my daughters away from me!" He yelled.
"Yes I am!! Look at you Que! I don't even recognize you. If you love your daughters that much and you wanna see them...stop this shit! Stop now!" I told him. He started crying. I hugged him.
"I'm so sorry...I'm sorry. I fucked up man. It was just suppose to be a one time thing but now I addicted to it." He cried. I held him. He was hurting and did anything to numb the pain. He didn't know this temporary numbing would become so addicting.
LOL QUE WOULD NEVER HURT KELS IN THAT TYPE OF WAY!! I had y'all believing that! Didn't I lmfaooooo
***SORRY FOR ANY MISTAKES OR MISSPELLINGS...I DIDN'T PROOFREAD!!! ENJOY!!!
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