Chapter 15 - Goodbye Part Two

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That was so hard for me to do. My heart is broken even more. But I had too. This isn't good for us like it used to be. Unless he changes. It's even worse that we live together. Whenever I get back from Canada, I'll have to face him. I guess I'll just be around waiting for him to change. But what if he doesn't?

I feel so stuck. He is the only one I want to be with, but how can I stay when I know how toxic this is now. I love him with everything in me. I swear my heart is so broken.

I got up from off the ground and took a deep breath. I need to just breathe, pull myself together, and leave. I packed the clothes that I had on the bed. I can fit a few more outfits and a few pair of shoes in here. Then put smaller things in my purse. I don't know. I took another deep breath. I heard the front door shut making me stop. Maybe Justin left.

After about ten minutes, I finished packing and grabbed all my stuff together. I put as much as I can into the suitcase. I put my purse on my shoulder and shoved my phone into my sweatshirt pocket. I rolled my suitcase out of the room then stopped in the hallway. I heard quiet voices down stairs. It sounded a bit like Scooter. I wiped my tears away one more time and took another deep breath.

As I walked down the stairs, I saw Scooter sitting on the couch while Justin sat on the other with his elbows on his knees and his hands covering his face. Scooter looked back as he heard me come down stairs. Justin picked his head up quickly. His eyes and face are red and puffy from crying. Scooter stood up.

"Hi Scooter" I said to him.

"Hi Jamie" he said back. "Heading to Canada?" He asked me. I nodded.

"For a little while" I told him.

"How are you getting to the airport?" He asked. I felt Justin's eyes on me, but I just stayed looking at Scooter because I knew if I looked at Justin, I would cry. I shrugged.

"Uber maybe" I answered. I sighed. "Yeah, Uber. I guess" I told him.

"Kenny is about to head back out, you want him to take you?" He asked me. I nodded.

"Yes please" I said quietly. He nodded too.

"I'll go tell him before he leaves" Scooter said then walked out the front door quickly. I looked around before my eyes landed on Justin who's still staring at me. All I saw was sadness as I stared into his eyes.

"Don't look at me like that" I quietly begged.

"You're leaving me. How else am I suppose to look at you?" He said back. I sighed again quietly and looked down at my feet. I feel like I can't breath. I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack. I grabbed my suitcase and started to walk towards the front door, but it opened making me slow down. It was Scooter.

"Kenny is ready to take you" He told me then looked over at Justin then me again. He stepped aside opening the door wider for me to walk by. I stopped and looked back at Justin. His head was in his hands again. It was a bad idea for me to look at him because I started to cry again. I looked ahead and just walked outside as I sobbed. I feel like I can't catch my breath. I saw Kenny standing by the end of the SUV with the trunk open.

"You ready little J?" He asked me. I guess he knows since he wasn't asking why I was crying.  I nodded as I stopped in front of him then held my hands over my face as I cried harder. I heard another car pulling up the driveway, but I don't even care to look. "Hey just breath okay?" I heard Kenny say to me.

"I'm trying" I managed to say as I moved my hands and looked at him. He was frowning.

"I'm sorry" he said to me as he put my suitcase in the trunk.

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