TAL. 25 -- The Hatred Is Still There

"You need to eat, Cass. Don't be stubborn." pamimilit pa rin ni Daryl sa akin.

Instead of doing what he wanted, nangalumbaba lang ako. I don't feel like eating. I feel so tired kahit pa kakagising ko lang naman. I slept almost all day yesterday, thank God Sunday kahapon.

I gently pushed my plate away. Naiinis ako sa niluto nya. "Cass.." inilapit nya ang kinauupuan nya sa akin, "You need to eat. Remember, hindi na lang ikaw ang kumakain ngayon."

I just looked at him. I'm not even in the mood to talk. Nakakatamad!

Kinatatamaran ko ultimo paglalakad, pag-iisip, pagkain. Almost everything. Normal ba ang ganito kapag buntis? Sabi naman ni Dr. Troy, normal lang sa first trimester ang ganito.

I remember what happened on my first check up...

"Take this everyday, Cassandra, okay?" sige sa paglilista ng vitamins si Dr. Troy. I just had a series of tests to confirm my pregnancy.

At positive naman nga daw, much to Daryl's delight. Kitang-kita ko naman na after i-confirm ng doktor na buntis nga talaga ako, since I only took a pregnancy test kit at home before and he said that test kits bought at the pharmacy isn't always accurate, nakaramdam ako ng pangamba. What if palpak nga ang test na ginawa ko sa bahay namin nina Chanel at Gino? Ngayon pa na alam na ng buong pamilya namin na buntis ako. Bakit ba hindi ko naisip na sumubok pa ng ilang test kit or consulted a doctor first just to confirm before telling it to the whole clan?

Mabuti na lang positive talaga.

Tahimik lang akong tumango. "What will she experience on her first few weeks?" seryosong tanong ni Daryl. Kanina pa sya seryoso, tahimik lang din sya at panay ang tingin sa mga ginagawa sa akin ng doktor. When Dr. Troy handed me another pregnancy kit, si Daryl ang sumama sa akin hanggang sa may pinto ng CR. At nang positive pa rin nga ang resulta, may mga ginawa na naman ang doktor na hindi ko na malaman kung ano. Dumb na kung dumb when it comes to medical procedures, ang mahalaga lang sa akin at ang tanging iniintindi ko ay ang pagbubuntis ko.

"Well, the first trimester is always the hardest. Lalo na sa mga first time moms. Usual changes are extreme tiredness, so I always suggest to sleep early, take a rest, don't stress yourself, Cassandra. Bawal magpuyat. Don't bring much work at home so you can have your time to relax. You can be moody at times, due to hormonal imbalances. Kaya Daryl you need to double up your patience to her, will you?" he smiled again at my husband. Si Daryl naman, nanatili pa ring stiff ang reaction.

"You need to be checked at least once a month, and if anything happens, I'm just a phone call away." kita ko nang sinamaan ng tingin ni Daryl si Troy. What's his problem?  Don't tell me, binigyan nya ng masamang kahulugan ang sinabi ng doktor? "Don't take any medicines other than what's written here, okay? Not all drugs are safe for the baby. Be cautious. Call me if you have any more questions."

"Kailangan talaga tatawagan ka palagi?" I heard Daryl mumble under his breath. I squeezed his hand to stop him. He's acting childish.

Tumayo na si Daryl. "Is that will be all, Doctor?"

Halata mang nagulat si Troy ngunit ngumiti na lang sya, "Yes." tumayo na din sya at inilahad ang palad kay Daryl. "Congratulations again, Mr. Montenegro."

Inalalayan ako ni Daryl patayo at matapos ang ilan pang bilin at mai-settle ang bill ay umalis na din kami. As soon as we got in the car, "I'll find you another doctor." he said.

Kunot noo akong napalingon sa kanya. "Bakit?"

"Babalik pa rin ba tayo dyan, Cass? Lalaki sya. Ano ang hindi mo maintindihan doon?" halata na namang bumalik ang pagkainis na kanina pa nya tinitimpi. "At ano, makikita nya ang private parts mo? Sya din ang magpapa-anak sayo? Nag iisip ka ba?"

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