Chapter 60:Losing It All

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I woke up to a bad headache and the smell of strong alcohol. I was still in my car parked at the beach. I must of fell asleep. I was drunk out of my mind yesterday. I grabbed my phone checking it. Kelsey didn't call or text me. Everything started coming back.
"FUCK, FUCK FUCK!!" I yelled while punching my steering wheel. I started my car and pulled off. I fucked up. Everything I said to Kelsey just started replaying in my head. "I been meaning to ask you, who you fucked while I was away?" "Who is he so I can blow his fucking brains out?" "So explain to me why Kellie don't look like me" "Why she so light man!? I don't see no resemblance!"
Everything just kept replaying and replaying. I could still hear the hurt in her voice. I don't know why I was tripping. I know Kelsey ain't cheat and ain't never cheated. I do wonder why Kellie is lighter but she probably get that from me since my mother is Puerto Rican. Shit just been eating at my soul. I've been tempted to fuck around so that probably made me push the guilt on Kelsey. I did 90mph all the way to the house. Kelsey car was gone. I still went in to check.
"Kels" I yelled while going into the house. It was quiet. I check the room. No Kelsey. Kali's room was empty too. I checked the closets and half their clothes was gone. I punch the wall. My fist went through it. I pulled out my phone and tried to call Kelsey but it kept going to voicemail. I decided to call her mom but it just rang. I kicked the wall creating another hall. I slid don the wall with my hands covering my face and just cried.

I've been in bed all day. I fell so useless. Quanell kelps trying to call me. I got tired of him calling so I just powered my phone off. He even tried to call my mom. I need space. He wanna deny my baby, I'll give him a test to prove him wrong. I already scheduled it. It's next week, I'll be sure to text him the info the day before.

1 week later....
I pulled up to the DNA diagnostics center. Our appointment is in 20minutes I wonder if he's gonna show up. I held Kali's hand and a sleeping Kellie in my arms. I signed in and they told me to take a seat.
"DADDY" Kali yelled. I turned around and there he was. He picked up Kali and kissed and hugged her. I rolled my eyes at him and sat on the other side of the room. I fed Kellie as I glanced up at then from time to time. After a while him and Kali cane walking towards us. I rolled my eyes and turned my head.
"Look at daddy's baby girl" he says as he tried to grab Kellie out of my arms. I pushed his hand away but am he still managed to get her from me. He kissed her.
"Now she's your daughter"I said while not looking at him. I was pissed. I crossed my arms over my chest.
"I'm sorry Kels. I was tripping. I didn't mean to say that shit. We don't even need the test" he says. I sarcastically laughed. I looked him dead in his eye.
"Fuck your sorry. Your sorry don't mean shit to me anymore. No where getting a DNA test for Kellie and Kali. Who knows who I was fucking" I said. The nurse called our name. I quickly stood up and took Kellie from him and grabbed Kali hand. I felt him looking at me but just ignored him. I don't care if I hurt is feelings. He's been hurting mine for years. They swobbed all our mouths and told us they would have the results in a week. He asked to talk to me as I headed to my car. I told him there wasn't nothing to talk about. He asked where I've been staying. I told him it's not his concern. He asked to take Kali and I told him hell no. I buckled Kellie in and he kissed her. I can't stand him. I got in the car as he talk to Kali outside the car. After 10minutes Kali got in the car and we both pulled off. He kept tryna follow me so I had to take some back roads to lose him. Once I made it back to my moms house he called. I ignored it but he kept calling.i decided to answer it.
"WHAT!" I yelled. He sighed.
"Kels....what are we doing man" he asked.
"What are you talking about?" I asked getting annoyed.
"You know what the fuck I mean man. Come home. I want my kids home. I want my family home" he said. I kept blanking fast to slip my self from crying.
"Oh they your kids now?..there's no don't have a family's over..I'm done" I said as a tear fell from my eye. He was silent for a few seconds.
"Kels, please don't do this. Please. Your all I got. Y'all are all I got. If I don't have y'all, I don't have nothing. I'll go crazy. Please. I swear I didn't mean to say what I said" he begged. That broke my heart.
"I can't.. I can''s not just you denying her Que. it's everything. All these years I put up with your lies, cheating..I'm broken. I can't take it anymore." I said.
"You was suppose to be my rock Kels. I don't have no one. My moms, Jay..everyone I ever loved left your leaving me."he said.
"No Que you left me! You stop caring and gave up on us. I can't take this anymore. At this point I'm think about my kids. If I'm not happy they aren't. I'm so sorry...I'm sorry. I'll always love you and be there for you. I just can't be with you. I'm sorry" I said before ending the call. I bent over and cried. He doesn't understand that it hurt me more to have to tell him that.

***sorry for any mistakes or misspellings. I didn't proofread!! Enjoy!

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