Your Forgotten

• xxiii •

Dedicated to lushpetals for being such an awesome hoe nugget™ (all credits to Amara) 😁 and for all the beautiful comments. Thanks love.

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(part 1)

11:59pm,
Tuesday, 13th of June 2017.

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To the woman who birthed me,

It was just another dreary Tuesday morning when I woke up today.

Even the clouds looked just as leaden as I felt. The sky, the dull throbbing that took it's place in my chest after yesterday's news, everything seemed to scream 'Not A Good Day'

So I stayed in bed for hours after I'd woken up at 5 am. Sleep and clear thoughts abandoning me.

He's gone. He killed someone.

Why didn't it surprise me like I thought it would? Why did it feel like just another Tuesday morning when we had a murderer for a father and husband? Who's life did he take? How? Why?

All these questions did nothing but gift me with a splitting headache and a parched throat.

Getting out of bed and heading downstairs for a bottle of water, I met you leaving your room at the same time.

Dressed in a wrinkled red T-shirt and jeans, with eyes bloodshot and swollen, few pimples and black spots popping up on the side of your face that was -for once- void of make up. Your body looked like it could barely hold your head.

You looked like wreckage in human form.

Our eyes met, silently asking each other if we were okay.

"I'm going down to the police station." you said, again with that robotic voice.

I felt the 8 year old me rear her little head, waiting to ask the question she'd asked when we'd moved from our tiny apartment to this mansion.

"will everything be okay?"

In that moment I desperately wanted to be next to you  and be 8 years old again. I wanted to have that safe feeling your arms used to provide.

In that moment I didn't care if he was going to rot in jail, as long as you'd hold your arms out for me to enter your warm embrace as we sailed this storm on our rickety raft.

In that moment I felt your brokenness that splayed itself all over your brown eyes and I tried so hard with mine to let you see how I truly felt.

Then like 7 years ago you broke our contact, the glue that held our eyes -our relationship- together and headed downstairs.

A long, heavy sigh did nothing to ease my burdened heart.

The bright part of the day slipped by like grains of sand in the tiny hands of a child and you finally came back.

The house echoed with the amount of strength you put into closing the front door, and before it had the chance to end, another slam of the door and the echo continued again.

Like a mannequin, I sat in place, in the darkness of my room. Feeling lost and forgotten like always.

My body still in the solace of my room, my heart drifted to yours. Watching you deal with a bad day in my mind, wondering what happened, wondering if there was anything I could do to help.

If you even wanted anything from me.

I stood up and followed my heart to your bedroom door, with weak limbs and slagging shoulders I proceeded to knock but a threshing sound stopped me before I finished.

It sounded like things were being thrown around in rage. Then there was silence.

"Mom?" came my frail voice which was met with more silence.

I turned the door knob to open it but it was locked.

"Mom? Are you okay?"

A minute passed and I was about to call again when my ears were met with a guttural cry like that of a wounded animal.

My voice grew louder and panicked "Mom?"

I banged at the door, a new found strength filling my limbs. More sounds of wailing filled my ears and my heart had never beat so fast in one minute.

"MOM!" I screamed for you but was met with the sound of a woman that was nothing like the one I knew.

Then I don't know how but your voice sifted through all the tears and wooden barricades, straight to my ears.

Like the last note played at the end of a dirge, so was the resignation in your voice when you said.

"My life is over, Mola"

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*hides inside a closet*

Hopefully, Mola's story is slowly coming to a close. I never thought I'd ever get this far with this story that started with a bad day. So much love has been shown to this story I'm still trying to comprehend.

I shall leave this for the end before I start turning mushy. Anyways...

Happy New month, Me loves!! Keep being awesome and spicy ❤❤