"you wanted to talk rita?"
jimin knocked on your bedroom door and you turned to look, adjusting the straps of your silk night slip."mhm, come in."
"I just wanted to check on you, I know I put a lot on you guys recently so I thought it would be a good idea to make sure you were okay."
"I'm managing, it's weird but I think I'll get the hang of..this." he gestures towards himself in his two piece night set, with his long sleeved silk button down and pants.
"and what about you?"
"what about me?" you mumble as you lift the aedge of you comforter, causing a rippling affect on the material. slowly you slip into bed.
it's been three days since you hung out with the guys. jimin noticed you were a bit more reserved and quiet around them but you guessed he decided not to speak up on it until now.
"what else could I mean?" he tilts his head and sits on the other side of the bed, watching as you pull the covers up to your waist.
"I'm talking about the wedding, today marks three days before what would've been your wedding."
"oh that," you don't immediately respond, rather you wait for the knots in your stomach to settle."I'm fine."
a unexpected loneliness peers over your shoulder like an old friend, crawling into bed next to you as you both prepared for a long night.
several months ago you were eagerly counting down the days till you wore your dress and got to call the man you thought was your perfect match, husband.
and now you were agonizing over the freezing time, wishing the date would pass and be over with.
as you slowed these thoughts to seep and simmer in your heart, it wasn't until jimin spoke did your date with the gloom get cancelled.
"you know, usually clients ask me to sleep with them, I don't know if you knew this but I do come with a cuddle package. perhaps you'd be okay with using it tonight?"
there was a pause and you barely nod your head, just enough to watch the dark cloud be pushed aside as the third wheel.
jimin lifted the opposite side of the blanket up, the side namjoon used to sleep on. it felt weird and you didn't know how to act. it's been quite some time since you shared a bed.
"is it alright if I touch you?" his soft butterfly voice like a lullaby or twinkle as he waits for your approval.
when you give him the okay he moves closer, arm over your waist, and the other on top of the pillow, carefully his eyes watch yours before closing.
"you can get it off your chest, if I have to be real with you then shouldn't you be honest with me?"
you hated to be held to standards, but you were a person of your word.
there was a pause and all you could hear was your pet turtle shuffling around the pebbles and water in his tank.
"so I feel..anxious, uneasy, sick? I don't really know. it just kind of hurts thinking about how different the day is going to be now."
"and honestly I'm kind of irritated. I spent so much time and money planning and being stressed out over designers and invitations and for a while I was obsessing over my weight because my only fear was not being able to fit into my dress the day of the wedding."
there was a empty space in the air as you shook your head, not even knowing how angry you were until you started to verbalize it.
"I'm kind of pissed off because had he not been so stupid then it could've still been happening. I could've been a good wife.."
you found yourself entangling your leg with jimin's, pushing your ear to his chest as you dosed off to the melody of his heartbeat.
he didn't quiet down or shush your ranting. he only held you as you did so.
"but then I started telling myself that it's actually good that everything happened the way it did..that maybe karma was looking to protect me.."
images flooded through your mind as you spoke and you couldn't even keep up with all the things you wanted to say.
"If not then I would've married him then possibly found out that he was having affairs with another woman. then I'd file for divorce, and worry about our kids being in the middle of it—or better yet we'd stay together for the sake of our kids but never be happy."
"I convinced myself that I was happier because we broke things off and I got to see the real him–the pain went away."
"then you got quiet on us?" he whispers the question into your hair, his voice less than a whisper.
you nod. "my heart didn't hurt one day, and then the next it did," you rested your arm on jimin's torso. taking a finger and tracing the crinkles of his shirt.
"I thought I was okay, but then it suddenly felt like I was shot in the chest. at first it was numb and then it was just...pain."
closing your eyes, you let go of a quiet sigh. "If I can make it past this wedding in one piece then I'll be okay."
"do you think you'll be ready to move on?"
jimin's voice cracked, you weren't sure if it was the sleep or something else talking but you considered.
was your heart fixed? would you be okay after all of this.
"yeah, I'll be able to move on."
"then instead of making this a countdown to doom, let's count down to a new beginning, a fresh start and your healing."
and before you could agree you fell asleep cuddled up in his arms.
pure jimin + bed: impossible they said, it can't be done they said.