4 - ANGST

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Hoseok listens, until he can't anymore.

It starts with a tweet.

'just leave bts already j-joke lol'

Other ARMYs had defended him, but it stuck around in his mind. It somehow kept coming back every now and then; when he's talking to Jin, or when he's hanging out with the maknaes, or in the studio with Namjoon, sometimes when he's lying in bed with Yoongi. It was unavoidable, and he wished it was.

And it kept going.

'his smile looks like a horse tbh and his laugh sounds a lot like jin but worse'

Hoseok listens. He smiles a lot less in interviews now, and when he does, he never shows his teeth, even at home.

Jin makes a joke concerning melons when they were cutting melons for snacks once. Hoseok doesn't laugh his laugh, doesn't smile his smile, and Jin doesn't joke after that, instead focusing on the melons. He misses Hoseok's smile and his laugh.

'idc if jhope is the main dancer jimin is better bc hes more fluid'

Hoseok listens. He moves his body as boneless as possible, to the point of nearly injuring himself. Jimin notices, tells his hyung, stop working so hard, it's fine, you're doing great, hyung. Hoseok just nods, and he does stop, in front of Jimin. He works harder than before, only pushing himself when Jimin's not around, stopping himself from dancing when the younger is around. Jimin misses seeing his hyung dance.

'y does jhope have longer raps than rm... joon's the main rapper not the other guy'

Hoseok listens. Rather, he didn't really, but he's guessing that BigHit listens to the people, so they cut a few of his lines and they lengthen Namjoon's. He doesn't spend time in the studio anymore either. Namjoon misses hanging out with him.

'jhope isn't golden hyung guys hes only golden hyung bc he ahngs out with golden maknae'

Hoseok listens. He stops getting touchy or affectionate with Jungkook. Jungkook misses him.

'tae is so happy and cute all the time.... sunshine hobi WHO i only know sunshine tae srry'

Hoseok listens. He slowly passes the role of moodmaker to Taehyung. Taehyung misses his moodmaking skills.

'BSHDEBHDEB YOONMIN IS SO CUTE LIKE HOSEOK WHO???? YOONGI IS SO IN LOVE WITH JIMIN DON'T FITHT ME ON THIS'

That was the last straw.

Hoseok pays attention, and he notices that Yoongi is very affectionate with Jimin, maybe as much as he is with him. Sees the shoulder tugs, the occasional hand holding, the draping of arms; Yoongi looks happy with Jimin. Hoseok loves Yoongi, but he shouldn't get between them- he knows he's holding Yoongi back.

And he drifts away.


hah, did you expect fluff or something other than angst? you should know me better.

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