Chapter 12

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Isaiah stands there holding his truck door open, "It's a lot nicer once you actually get in." His voice is filled with amusement. I look at his face and see his lips formed into a slight smirk. I had always thought those half smiles were full of love now I realize he's making fun of me.

I can't do this. "You know what, I'm just gonna call a cab."

The smirk falls from his face. "No, Meg, come on." Hearing him call me Meg causes my heart to flutter. "I won't talk, just let me drive you home." I hesitate for a minute. "Please." His eyes are pleading. I need to tell him about the baby and now is the best time to do it. The sooner I get it over with the better. Sighing, I get into his truck and he closes to the door. Walking around the front and getting into the driver's side he closes his door and starts the truck.

"Where are we going?" Isaiah asks backing out of his parking spot.

"The apartments over on Walden street?" I ask him hoping he knows where they are so I don't have to give him directions the whole time.

He looks at me shocked for a minute before turning back to the road. "You two are living in those apartments?" He asks letting me know he knows exactly what apartments I'm talking about. Mia and I's apartment building isn't in the best part of New York but honestly, there's a lot of worse places we could have ended up living.

"Yep." I confirm in a slightly sarcastic tone. The old Isaiah would have started a discussion on how dangerous it is for two women to live by themselves in an area like that but instead, he says nothing and we're suddenly plunged into a sea of silence. The only thing I can hear is my heart's frantic beating and the gravel under the tires.

The silence is awkward and agonizing but I fear speaking would make it worse.

I'm trying to avoid conversation for as long as possible so, when I hear Isaiah take in a breath and see him open his mouth I lean forward and turn up the radio. Smooth, I know. The silence is broken and the truck fills with the familiar tune of some song I've never heard. The erratic beating of my heart isn't as loud anymore and Isaiah no longer looks like he's about to say something.

A few songs later I'm trying to figure out how to bring up the baby- I mean, it's not like I can just say 'hey I'm pregnant and it's yours.' I'm sure there's some type of etiquette for telling your ex-boyfriend- that you're still in love with- that you're pregnant with his child.

Isaiah's middle finger that was tapping on the steering wheel suddenly freezes as a familiar song suddenly comes on. His jaw clenches and he glares at the radio. I never knew he hated this song.

Just listening to the beginning of the song gives me the urge to cry. It's just a song, I should be able to listen to it without crying.

"Kiss me, out of the bearded barley nightly, beside the green, green gr.-"

Unfortunately, I'm not mentally stable enough to listen to this song right next to Isaiah. I had two options, either cry or turn the radio off. I went with the latter.

'Kiss Me' was our song but instead of giving me that giddy, completely in love feeling, it makes me feel sick and heart-broken.

We're again surrounded by silence and I start to wonder what his reaction to the baby will be. In high school, we both wanted to have a family right after college. Maybe he'll be excited about the baby even if he doesn't love me. Maybe he'll want to get back together for the sake of the baby. I can't help the way my heart flutters at the thought of the baby bringing us back together. My giddiness doesn't last long once I remember he could have the complete opposite reaction. What if he gets angry or wants nothing to do with the baby. I have no idea what part of the Isaiah was real and which was fake. Maybe he never loved me and I was a game. Maybe he never wanted kids and just said he did to keep me around. A sickening feeling makes it way into my gut, what if he wants me to get an abortion. That, of course, is not an option but I think it will nearly kill me if he tells me to get one.

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