Have you ever fallen in love? Well I haven't. What I feel towards him isn't love. It's selfishness, pure selfishness. There he is, the one boy I think of every night and miss every single day. He has already told me he has feelings for me. We could be together, simple as that. Nothing was wrong with that. It was the perfect plan for us.
But, I didn't want him. I didn't want to be with him. I think of him and miss him, but I don't want him. Seeing him with other girls, hurt me. That is why I'm selfish. I'm selfish because I don't want him, but...I don't want any other girl to have him either. I thought about it, and it sounds cruel when I put it this way but, I want to watch him have feelings for me, love me, and only me but, not have me or anything else in return.
That is selfish isn't it? Well, that's me and how I feel. If I could take back time, I would. Back to four years ago...before I met him.
But I can't, so here I sit holding the box of letters he gave to me. Throwing letter by letter into the fire, I walked back home. I have made my decision, and I'm not going to change my mind.
( Min Lee's POV )
I jumped onto my bed after a long workout. Reaching over to my bedside table, I took out my book. Opening it up, I wrote down another entry. The book was special to me; I entitled it 'MY BOY TOYS'. I filled out all the information that I usually filled out whenever I wrote an entry.
I put down his name, age, and what school he went to. Gluing a picture that I took with him that day into the book, I started to fill out more information. I thought about it, and I gave him three dollar signs, two happy faces, three hearts, and two squares.
I smiled as soon as I was done. I loved putting new entries into my book. Shoving it underneath my pillow, i walked towards the bathroom. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and frowned. I was soaked from my own sweat. Stripping my clothes off, i hopped into the shower.
Splashing the luke warm water over my body, I sighed of satisfaction. I could feel my body being cleansed of all the sweat and germs. After taking my time doing what I usually do in the shower, I was finally done. Hopping out of the tub, I wrapped the towel around my body. I took a deep breath to sniff the fresh smell of soap.
After I had put on all my facial products, which consisted of lotion and some vaseline, I walked out to get dressed. I looked into my closet and stood there for awhile, staring at all my clothes. Once three minutes had passed by, I finally decided to grab my black velour sweat suit and a white beater. Throwing my clothes onto myself, I looked in the mirror. I looked fine.
I walked back into the bathroom and started to blow-dry my hair, which took me ten minutes. Tying my long unnatural black hair, I smiled in satisfaction. I added some pink lip-gloss onto myself as I left my room. While walking downstairs, I noticed that the house was dead silent. I guess the guys aren't home yet. Putting on my black pumas, I walked out of the house.
I quickly got into my black BMW convertible and drove off to the mall. During my ride to the mall, I blasted my music on full volume as I sang to all the songs. When I arrived at the mall, I drove around to find a parking spot. I spotted one, and was going to park there until someone beat me to it.
"Fcuking bi.tch," I said, shocked and pissed off.
The mall was closing soon and I was in a hurry, so I didn't bother to pinkberry at the person. I drove off to the other side and found another parking spot. Once I backed into the spot, I grabbed my purse and got out of the car. I walked into the mall and started to go phone shopping.