Catching Feelings

Memorandum 11

Because you never seem to understand what the difference between me and your past, you often held items I owned and believed you could move on forward. But there was this human side of you that made you believable. It made me believe that you were just like me.

Arriving at my apartment, I invited you in.

"Are you sure?" You asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, the wheater outside isn't too great either. It'll get colder."

"Alright then." You stepped in with your Chuck Taylor high top converse wetting the floor. There was a slight squeak with every step you took like a cricket chirping in the distance.

"Would you like another cup of tea?"

"Sure."

While I prepared the water to boil, I became excited as an idea popped into my head. "What if we make popcorn?" My sandy brown eyes gleamed and a smile broke onto my face, I couldn't contain my excitement.

Placing them into the microwave, you immediately rushed across the room. Closing the microwave and setting the timer, I watched you look around the room frantically. They were desperately trying to look for distractions. Your fingers began to dig into your forearms, your jaw clenched, and you forced your eyes shut.

In that instant, I stopped the microwave. "Are you okay?"

Your eyes opened in realization as I was speaking to you. Noticing I was looking at your frightened state you forced out a yes from your teeth.

As if nothing happened, I began to set the timer once again. This time I faced the microwave and waited patiently as there were only seconds left.

Beep, Beep, Beep!

I turned around and saw fear written on your face. Your dark chocolate eyes seemed as if they were fragile orbs, any touch could have shattered them.

Looking between the microwave and you, I pieced them together. "Are you afraid of microwaves?"

Looking down, you said nothing.

I opened the bag of popcorn from the microwave and offered you some in a bowl. "Would you like some?"

Hesitantly you grabbed the bowl.

"Oh, that's right! I'll get your tea ready."

Bringing a warm cup of tea, I handed you a warm blanket with napkins. A minute of silence between us passed until I mustered enough courage to ask, " May I ask, why are you afraid of microwaves?"

You drank your tea as if I hadn't said anything. The tea gave you a sense of security and comfort. You pursed your lips to the side gently as if you were debating whether or not to reply. After a few seconds, you said, "I'm afraid of them exploding."

"Interesting, well it's a great thing I rarely use it then."

You wrapped the fluffy warm blanket around you and sat on the couch. Looking towards the ceiling, you said, "Nice glow in the dark stars."

"Mhm, they remind me of peace. The glowing stars just remind me of my childhood. My mother would buy them for me and stick them to the ceiling. These stars probably give me a false sense of hope."

Your eyes were fixated on the ceiling, "It's still good to have hope."

I saw the cup of tea touch your lips gently. It seemed as if you were enjoying the warmth soothing your lips everytime they made contact with the tea. "You must love tea," I commented.

"Yup."

You were hard to talk to. You were hard to approach. You were hard to get to know you. It was like talking to a wall, the barrier between us made it hard to communicate with one another. The conversation had died and silence spoke louder.

"When I was tired of working, the neighbor beside always offered tea on a hard days work."

"That's sweet." It might seem absurd, but I wanted to see if we had anything in common. I asked, "Do you like chocolate milk?"

You groaned. "No, that's gross."

"Yeah I don't like milk, but I like chocolate though."

"I don't like chocolate. Milk is alright," you shrugged your shoulders.

"How funny!" I giggled, "That's ironic."

Looking around the apartment, you asked, "You don't own a television or radio?"

Shaking my head I said, "No, just a phone."

"Nice, keeping it classic." Your eyes traveled to my wrist.

Noticing you were looking at my watch, I extended my arm towards you.

Having a better view of the time, you stood up. "Well, have a good one."

"Where are you going? It's pretty late and the weather isn't great either."

"Work." You handed me the blanket in a sloppy bundle.

Looking out at the window, small specks of frost were beginning to form around the edges. "Take it. It's cold."

You wrapped it around your shoulders, "Good on you."

You held my spare key in your left hand up- dangling it. It was a reminder from the last time. "I guess you can keep it for now. Just don't come in whenever you want, bye." You shoved it into your pocket.

A soft click from door shut behind you as you left.