T W O | Anxiety

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{Pic of Neel}

Song: Too Good At Goodbyes

Artist (s): Sam Smith

Don't trust what you see, even salt looks like sugar.

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    The room started to fill up quite fast and before I knew it ,the room was full. English literature was a popular course in this school which is why the current class I was in, was the largest. 

Breathe in. Breathe out. Don't panic. You've been through this before.

I made sure my head was down as the people walked past, taking their seats. No one sat next to me. They didn't want to be caught sitting next to a loser. Half an hour passed by and my anxiety was finally starting to calm down. But what can I say? Life's too much of a bitch to let me be.

"Olivia?" I looked up through my lashes at the teacher. All eyes were on me and my anxiety was kicking back in. I didn't hear the question. My breathing began to get heavier with every second that passed. 

"We don't have all day Olivia" the teacher snapped while everyone else sniggered.

"I...I don't know" I stuttered out barely audible.

"You're going to have to speak louder than that" he rolled his eyes. Mr Douglas had been working in this school for the past 25 years and it had taken its toll and changed him into the cold machine that he is.

"I don't know" I repeated slightly louder. He shook his head.

"Well, then you'll stay in detention after school and you can think of an answer then" he concluded moving back towards his computer leaving my body shaking. There's no way I can stay for detention. He'll kill me. I need to go home to cook. 

Life was such a bitch.

*****

     I skipped lunch again. I didn't get to eat at home; if I did, it was in small percentages, which is why I find it hard to have proper meals. I pulled at the sleeves of my shirt trying to make my way to the library as incognito as I could. Just as I was about to round the final corner my eyes fell on something. Someone.

There he stood. Smiling a million dollar smile at the people surrounding him. The golden boy of the school. Everyone loved him because he was caring, generous and overall a good person. But that's what they thought. They didn't see the evil glint in his eyes. The venom behind his kind words. They didn't see the abuser in him. My step-brother. Tobias. My abuser. It's so frustrating knowing how terrible, how fake a person actually is, yet everyone loves them because they can put on a good show.

His eyes fell on me and his smile fell. Just slightly and then he grinned again. Everyone in his group turned in my direction to see what he was staring at. Scanning the group, my eyes fell on Michelle.

No. No. No. This cannot happen again.

Michelle smirked turning on her heels walking towards me. I still hadn't healed from last night, if she did something I don't think I'll be able to bear it this time. I started taking slow steps back as she began to speed up, so I did the only thing I could think of. I ran.

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