I try to only post one shots but I was thinking about this and I just really need to get it out and I thought that more people would see it if it was posted here rather than in Stuff n Things. So here we go.
There is someone on Vocaloid Amino (I don't want to name names but some people may already know who it is) who posts screenshots of VA posts on Instagram. Their first post was a screenshot of one of my posts that really wasn't a good post and it was just a bad idea and it was really cringy. And they basically just roasted me and stuff. I only noticed this last night, and I just jokingly commented on it, but it still hurt me a little inside.
Later, (this was the first time I heard of them) they posted screenshots of my Ookamii Kurotane edits on their IG. Basically, Ookamii drew Kuro holding a blank sign that you could put anything you wanted on it. So, even though I discovered it 2 hours after it was posted, I decided to edit it. I thought my edits were fairly funny, but the person with the IG didn't think they were and from what they said, it seems like they felt it was unnecessary. Because of this, I have been discouraged from doing bandwagons. Recently, there was a bandwagon where you would have an image of someone holding a phone, an image of something you liked, and then another image of that same person crying while hugging their phone. I didn't participate because I was scared people wouldn't like me for doing it.
Also, I've been working on some art of a Piko variant called "Piros" based on the Greek god "Eros". But this person with the IG said that they didnt like Piros and they wanted it to stop. So now, I'm literally scared that if I post my Piros, that person will destroy me on IG.
Really, this whole situation is making me terrified of posting anything on VA. Like, I hate critiques because they lower my self confidence. What this person on IG has been doing is like critiques x10000. It really does hurt and scares me out of posting things on VA. I want to think that VA is a safe place for me to post my opinions and do the kind of stuff like draw Piros without any fear. But this person is literally making me terrified of posting things on VA.
Now, of course they are entitled to their own opinion and are allowed to do this stuff, but my weak ass can't handle this shit. It's really just something that applies to me. Someone else could be criticized and roasted by them and not give a fuck. But that's not me. I'm pretty sure I have a fear of failure and disappointing people. This is why I take critiques so harsh and when I screw up, it's really painful for me. I just feel like I've failed and that people don't like what I do. So this IG stuff just really hurts my feelings and makes me feel like people are going to look down on me.
Before I end this, I do have a fear about my Piros drawing. Most people wanna see a Piros that doesn't look 14. But in my art style, characters tend to look young. Gumi kinda looked 15 and she had big boobies. So I'm just scared that people will hate my Piros because he looks kinda young.
Basically TL;DR, I'm terrified of posting anything on VA right now. I'll probably post Piros when I'm done drawing him, but I'll still be terrified of getting backlash. Maybe I'll stop posting after that and just take a break. I'll still be active because I feel like if I don't look at what people I'm following post that I'm going to die. (pretty sure it's an OCD thing. I also had a thing where I had to check my phone every 10 seconds.) And also, I can't abandon my chats and just leave my friends without me.
But yeah. Thanks for reading! I seriously appreciate it since you had to suffer through over 700 words of rant. I'm sorry about that. Bye guys!! Hopefully, I'll post a fanfic soon!