Deadly Secrets (BanxReader)

just a rant

SARAH STOP WITH THE SHREK FANFICS

JUST FOUND A DONALD TRUMP X SHREK X READER IN MY LIBRARY

KID I SWEAR

ALSO WHAT HAPPENED TO MY JUSTIN BIEBER X DONALD TRUMP THING? DID I DELETE IT?

i liked it tho

ALSO DID YOU KNOW MY DOGS SNORE

HOW DO I GET SLEEP YOU ASK?

I DONT

I DONT SLEEP

SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK

I CANT SLEEP

IM AN OVERTHINKING CLINGY INSOMNIAC THATS ¿LOWKEY? DEPRESSED

SO YAY

IM A FREAKING POTATO THAT GREW LIMBS

ID TELL YOU TO ASK MY FAMILY FOR PROOF BUT THEYRE IN CHIP BAGS

THANKS SO MUCH AMERICAN COMPANIES and maybe other companies

PAN AND BI ARE NOT THE SAME THING

DONT MIX THEM UP

BI IS SYRICTLY BOYS AND GIRLS

PAN IS STRICTLY EVERYTHING

GET THAT THROUGH YOUR HEAD

DONT MEAN TO SOUND OFFENSIVE OR ANYTHING BUT STILL

STOP IT

GET SOME HELP

ALSO

DONT EAT SOAP

ITS NOT TO EAT

IT COULD PROBABLY MAKE YOU SICK

but if you're into that kind of thing then go ahead im not stopping you

nO JUDGEMENT HERE

IS IT NORMAL THAT WHILE I WAS BABYSITTING TODAY I FINISHED ALL OF BARBIE LIFE IN THE DREAMHOUSE

THAT PLACE IS FRIGGIN LIT

LIKE

ITS HUGE

AND THERES DOLPHINS

AND STUFF

KENS ADORABLE BUT I MEAN EHHH

DID YOU KNOW FIFTH (forth not even sorry) HARMONY WAS IN IT TOO

LIKE

BARBARA MILLICENT ROBERTS OR WHATEVER THE HECK YOUR NAME IS HOW DO YOU WEAR SO MUCH PINK

not kidding when i say id be the bear roaming around in the dreamhouse

ALSO

I MISS CHESTER

WHEN I HEARD THE NEWS I CRIED

THEN I CRIED AGAIN AS I GOT G NOTED

FREAKING FRACKING FRICKLE FRACKER LIL FJRNA

GAH