Misanthropy - [ryden]

10. Misinterpreted

**SIMILAR WARNINGS AS LAST CHAPTER MINUS TORTURE AND MURDER FOR JUST THE BEGINNING OF THE CHAPTER BEFORE THE ASTERISKS. TAKE PRECAUTIONS AS NECESSARY**

After about an hour of sitting in his basement floor and caressing the dismembered head of his past lover, Brendon was finally able to haul himself off of the ground and carry Joshua's head over to his sink. He was still sobbing softly, rinsing all of the blood from the man's face and untangling his curls with his fingertips as he continued to whisper-shout apologies to him. Brendon didn't mean to kill him, he really didn't, he just wanted to give him a physical interpretation of how bad he hurt him all those years ago. Now, here he was, head dismembered and body growing colder by the minute as it rested under the flickering, fluorescent lights on a cold metal slab.

This wasn't Brendon's intention, but now he had a lover to take care of.

He continued to sob quietly, his apologies having ceased as he held Joshua's - now clean - head in his arms and carried it over to the freezer. He cracked open the top, looking down at the cleared out bottom of the cold metal box before lifting Joshua's head in front of him and stroking the side of his face gently. "I'm so sorry, Joshua," he sobbed out, his voice breaking with almost each syllable. "This wasn't supposed to happen, and I know y-you know that. But," he paused, taking in a small stream of air as he brushed his thumbs across his cheekbones, "I promised I'd take care of you. And I will. I love you, Joshua."

He took care in brushing the curls from the deceased man's face before pressing a loving kiss to his icy lips and lowering him to the frozen bottom of the barren case. He let a few more tears fall shamelessly from his eyes before giving Joshua a final goodbye and closing the lid to the freezer. He then paused for a moment, leaning forward and gripping the edges of the freezer and evening out his breathing before turning and facing Joshua's paling body. He took in a deep breath as he walked over to the metal slab, grabbing the large cleaver on his way over.

He spent a moment looking at the body, marveling at the beauty in front of him for the briefest of moments before lifting the cleaver and bringing it down harshly just below his kneecap, completely severing the lower leg from his body. A shudder ran through his body as he took in another deep breath, his eyes filling with tears.

"Forgive me, Joshua."

*  *  *

Ryan didn't know what he was doing, but he felt stupid doing it. He was currently carrying a block of banana nut bread wrapped in cellophane up the concrete steps to Detective Urie's front door, while Ashley sat in the driver's seat of her car, offering him a thumbs up in encouragement. The young male rolled his eyes and shook his head as he climbed to the last step and stood stoic in front of the dark wood door. He inhaled deeply and let out an anxious breath as he rocked back and forth on his heels, trying to find the courage to raise his fist and knock on the door.

Seeing that he was taking too long, Ashley rolled her eyes and climbed out of her car, quickly running up the concrete steps and knocking three times before dashing back to her car. Ryan turned to look at her disbelievingly before the locks on the door were being clicked and the large wood structure was being pulled open to showcase a very striking looking Detective Urie.

"Mr. Ross," he says softly and in slight surprise. "Hello. It's good to see you, of course, but - as you can tell - I wasn't really expecting company."

Ryan could do nothing except for gulp softly, his face burning red at the detective's appearance. The older man was adorned in nothing other than a pair of low hanging sweatpants that perfectly showed the defined 'v' shape in his pelvic muscles. Ryan had to remind himself what he was doing there, shaking his head abruptly and clearing his throat as he began to speak. "Ms. Sarah said that it'd been a couple of days since anyone had seen you," he started softly, "and she said it must've had something to do with Mr. Dun's passing and that your team had to work on the case after he was found. She said you two had history and were relatively close."

The older man tensed up at the mention of Joshua's surname, his heart growing sad at the reminder that he was - in fact - gone, and it was his fault. However, he couldn't allow himself to let that much of him show to the boy in front of him, so he just nodded softly. "Joshua and I were close," he said softly, his voice thick with emotion, "and it was very sad when we discovered that the body had belonged to him. Your condolences are very much appreciated right now, Mr. Ross, thank you."

"Please," the curly headed boy whispered softly, "you can just call me Ryan." He finished, sending the detective a small smile before lifting up the block of baked bread in front of him. "Ms. Sarah also said you really liked banana nut bread," he spoke, his voice full of hope as he watched Brendon smile softly, "so I thought I'd bake you some to maybe.. hopefully cheer you up a bit?"

The detective smiled widely at the offering and took the block happily from the younger male, tears barely filling his eyes as he smiled sadly. "You didn't have to do this," he said, albeit appreciatively. "I know how much effort goes into making this."

Ryan shrugged his shoulders slightly, biting his lips shyly as he kicked imaginary dirt under his feet. "It really wasn't that difficult," he said dismissively. "Ashley helped with a lot of it; said I was 'trying to burn my apartment down.'"

Brendon looked past the younger male to where Ashley was leaning onto the passenger side, waving at him through the window. Brendon smiled back at the girl, waving to her as well before turning his full attention back to his pale angel. "Thank you very much for this. I'm sorry I don't look decent, and I would offer you my company, although I am in no state to do anything."

Ryan quickly shook his head with a soft chuckle. "Don't even worry about it, Detective Urie," he said with a reassuring smile. "For one, you look fine, so no need to worry there. Also, Ashley and I have to head to work in just a moment, I just really wanted to drop this by and see how you were doing."

Brendon nodded once more, small smile gracing his lips. "I appreciate that very much, Ryan," the older male said softly, "but please, call me Brendon. It's only fair if I address you by your first name that you also address me by mine."

Ryan blushed and nodded once more before looking back to Ashley for a split second. "Well," he started nervously, "I guess we'd better get going. I'll see you around, right?"

Brendon nodded again, signaling the boy off happily. "Have a great day at work, Ryan," he said in a slightly sultry voice. "You deserve it."

Ryan nodded once more, blushing even deeper as he went back to Ashley's car and climbed inside, closing the door and casting one more glance to the detective's home. He sent him a small wave before they were driving off and Ashley begun squealing about how hot he was and how lucky Ryan was to have him interested in him.

Back in the detective's home, however, he set the gift from his angel on his kitchen counter before slipping back into his 'work' attire and heading down to the basement, where his most recent lover lay deceased in the middle of a large plastic sheet, his skin already turning a grayish-blue under the fluorescent light that hung above him.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, darling," he whispered sincerely. He turned back to his work table and grabbed his hacksaw from the table, running his fingers over the handle slowly before turning back. "Now, where were we?"