"It's all that really matters..."

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Some of you may think I gave up a good thing...

But, good always depends on the angle of perception...

Sure, there's nothing inherently wrong with owning things, even many fine things; but, I'd become a slave to my things...

I suppose I'm writing this to warn others who may feel their things aren't possessing them...

I had more than "many others" and less than "some others".

I had a median amount of things---house, car, decent computer, clothes for many occasions, a variety of foods, a bit of nice art, various tools and small equipment to affect trivial repairs, enough left over to pay the utilities, go see a movie once a month, go out to eat perhaps twice a month, buy gifts for family and friends on special days, etc...

More than many, less than others...

I really don't have to warn the folks who have what I had but are able to stay "detached" from it all.

Still, some of that last group of humans may feel they're detached when, if it were all suddenly snatched away, they would bewail their fate and curse the gods that be...

I suppose that's the core of what I'm trying to say---trying to warn about---the "gods that be".

There are many "proofs" that this life on Earth, with all its stuff, is just a school house for a further type of life...

I won't argue any proofs but would feel remiss if I didn't mention all the "intangibles" this life on Earth has---love, glory, rapture, astonishment, the imagination, the will to act; and, even though most folks will agree with me, there are "scientists" and "philosophers" and "eminent people" who will violently disagree about what you might want to call the spiritual side of life...

So...

Whatever gods there are, or whatever God you worship (or, don't worship...), I must warn you that you will fail at life if your "higher self" must absolutely possess the things you possess...

I was so engrossed in what I'd owned that I couldn't even see other people---oh sure, I perceived that there were other folks around me---even talked to them; but, I didn't really "See" them---their uniqueness and all their intangible assets...

And, because of my willful blindness, I became quite sterile, quite alone, quite banal, quite like the living dead---God help those with way more than I used to have who are also living dead...

It happened on a Saturday, I think it was in October---I sat down on my couch and began to cry---six hours of tears (soul-tears after the ones from my eyes were used up...).

Then, I was numb all night---no sleep, no nothing---blank...

As I regained a bit awareness, my first perception was what's called, It-scared-the-shit-out-of-me.

Made me wake up and smell the intangible roses.

Made me start donating most of my eating out and movie money to a worthy charity.

Made me quit my job and camp-out in my luckily-paid-for home, with my luckily-paid-for car in the driveway.

Made me realize I didn't need any new things.

Made me locate places that sold used things---clothes, etc....

Made me feel just a bit guilty when I went to a regular store for toilet paper, etc....

Made me start helping out my neighbors with all sorts of odd jobs; and, without even asking, earning just enough to buy food and toilet paper, and all the other things I needed if I stayed in a "civilized" part of the world....

Made me volunteer to read to kids at the library.

Made me write this (and actually publish it).

Please don't get me wrong---I'm not, in the least, saying anyone else should do what I did.

It's just that I'd gotten to the end of the materialistic road---knew I had an addiction to things---discovered sweet detachment.

And, what is it that the title of this essay says is "...all that really matters..."?

The condition of my soul.........


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