Your Forgotten

• xxii •

11:59pm,
Monday, 12th of June 2017.

✺

To the woman who birthed me,

The weekend flew by us in the form of routine.

I still don't understand how it was easy for you to put Friday nights events behind you and live like nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

Nevertheless, apart from the doctor's daily visit, we managed to stay out of everyone's way as usual, if someone came to visit, they'd think we were a normal functional family.

Throughout Saturday I refused to leave my room because I knew you were home and I couldn't risk running into you.

Your words danced about in my head all morning.

I've never been more ashamed in my entire life.

Like a chorus to a sad song, it played in my head and never let me forget about every shameful thing I've ever done.

Remembering the tears on your face on Friday night, I knew there's no way I could face you.

You sent the maid to bring my food to my room. I tried to resist the food but I ate it anyway and to my surprise it tasted... Different.

It tasted of nostalgia and happy days. It tasted of everything I've missed, of your now nonexistent smile and I knew right away that you made it.

For the first time that day, a tiny smile escaped my lips.

All weekend Margaret buzzed my phone with calls and today we finally met at our usual spot.

"I feel like something happened on Friday and you won't tell me." she'd said after apologizing a million times for not being able to make it that day.

I told her it was nothing to worry about and she was back to her usual chirpy self.

After spending the day with her, the weight in my chest felt a little lighter to carry and as usual we headed our separate ways.

Opening the gates I saw you standing by the door,  staring into space and my heart rate sped up.

After forcing my feet to move forward, I walked up to you but it seemed you didn't acknowledge my presence.

Your eyes looked glassy and had a faraway look to them. A pained, faraway look to them and I moved to ask what happened again before you spoke.

"Your father got arrested."

Your relayed the message like a robot holding no emotion but your eyes told a different story.

"They just took him away, right here." you said, finally looking at me.

"What happened?" I asked.

"They said he killed someone."

Before I could process your words clearly, you'd turned away, entered inside the house and almost ran straight to your room.

Leaving me standing there, not knowing what I was supposed to feel for him, or what I was supposed to do.

What has he gotten us into now?

It always used to be my prayer that something would make him go away from our lives and never come back.

Ever since, I was eight I was told myself that the solution to all my problems was his absence from both our lives.

But now would it change anything?

With mother and child, cold and confused. Is anything really going to change?

I don't even know what to think anymore.

I just don't know what to feel anymore.

Everyday, our world just keeps shattering leaving me with no clue what to do next. 

Your forgotten,
Mola.

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I feel, I'll be visiting this chapter again soon, i don't think I did it enough justice.

But what are your thoughts so far on Mola and her parents? And Mola's father is now arrested, what are your thoughts that?

I hope you liked the chapter anyway, so please vote and leave a comment if you did :)

Love, Omi❤