Leonis, 1:1, 2:14 - Roach Hotel - The Only Good Agent Is A Dead Agent

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 October 27th, 1985

"Someone on the damn operations team give me an update on Unit TWO! I have a freaking show to run!" the director shouted over the intercom.

            Ronald looked over at Diane and shook his head. "That bug's been exterminated," he whispered.

            Diane covered her mouth to keep from laughing. She nodded in agreement. Her raised cheeks lifted the corners of her eyes, giving away a very humorous expression hidden beneath her fingers. "Ahem, technically this is not funny..." she said softly, covering her microphone.


            "What is it Ronald?" Diane asked, the humor replaced by a more serious tone. "What's 'oh'?"

            "That strange agent's spotted the cameras...and there goes another one! Son of a bitch!"

            The studio audience began clapping each time Parker smashed a lens.

            Diane began shaking her head. "What is wrong with today's youth? Don't they know he's the enemy?"

            Ronald nodded in agreement then shrugged. "In their defense, we did kinda create all this by making it all a game...just wait until those advanced...oh, what do the kids call those things...arcade games?"

            "Yes, arcade games is right, I believe," Diane said, now leaned forward to talk with Ronald without being overheard.

            "Well, if they ever get those game things on everyone's tracking communicators, I would say Earth will just roll over and surren..."

            "Going hot in 3..."

            "We'll talk later. Hey, Diane what are you doing for dinner tonight?" Ronald asked his co-host.

            "I don't have plans, so, it sounds like I'm going where you're going," the woman said with a grin.

            "And we're on air!"

            Ronald jumped and snatched down on the coiled overhead microphone floating over his head. He landed in a crouch and gave the audience a serious, dangerous look. Sweeping his left hand out toward the front row of cheering people, he said in an increasingly exciting voice, "Alright Planet Earth! Didn't I say we would have a show for you tonight!?!!"


            "Wooow! Alright, I see one excited fan over here I want to talk to! Let's find out who she is!" Ronald said walking over toward a pretty, teenage girl wearing sunglasses and a black t-shirt. It had the show's logo, a red roach, on its front. He draped his right arm over her shoulder as she stood from her seat. She screamed and wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed!

            "I love you guys!!!" the fan screamed, releasing the calm and cool Ronald from the chokehold she had him in.

            "I can tell," Ronald said and covered his ear, pretending she damaged his eardrum with her shouting.

            The audience laughed.

            Lowering the microphone to the young woman's lips, Ronald asked, "How old are you?"

"Just turned nineteen, Ronald," she said and turned to smile at the audience behind her as someone whistled at her.

"Single?" Ronald asked.

The young woman blushed. "Yeah."

More whistles.

"Alright, you heard that audience...now, what's your name, sweetheart?"

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