The beauty of jealousy

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I've been watching a lot of toilet paper fort videos recently so you're welcome for this chapter

Dad - Well look who it is?
Alex - ...
Dad - Answer me when I talk to you boy!
Alex - Hello sir!
Dad - That's more like it. I would give you a little smack but it looks like someone beat me to ya.
Alex - I guess so.
Dad - Well if you don't wanna smack then you better hurry your ass upstairs!'
Alex - Yes sir!

I grabbed my bag and ran up the stairs to my bedroom. I locked the door and laid down on the floor, staring up at the ceiling. Atleast I'd have time to try and get these wounds to heal. I sat up and walked over to my small bathroom that consisted of a shower, sink, and toilet. I stared into the mirror and saw just what damage had been done.

Alex - Damnit John.

I opened the sinks drawer and pushed a bunch of junk out of the way before I found my box of bandages and bandaids. I sat on the toilet and grabbed the cloth from the side of my sink. I got it wet and let it rest on my cheek. The cold water made me relax and helped the bleeding. I stuck a small blue bandaid on the cut. I looked like some third grader with a colored bandaid on my face.

I bandaged up my leg and I thought I was finally done. That's when I remembered my stomach. I lifted up my shirt and sighed at the dark marks that covered it. Why am I sad about this? I hurt myself, shouldn't I be happy that other people can do the work for me. Shouldn't I be happy that other people are taking me closer and closer to death.

What are people gonna think when I walk in on Monday and I have a black eye. I can cover the rest of this stuff up with clothes, but I can't hide the marks that covered my face.

Dad - ALEXANDER!!!!!


I ran downstairs where I saw my dad, almost passed out in the living room. The lights were off and the curtains were closed. The only light came from the bright flashes from whatever crappy show he was watching on TV. I could tell that he was sat back in his recliner with a empty beer bottle in his hand. I know that whatever he says next, I should listen. Otherwise, that bottle is gonna make me even more fucked up than I already am.

Dad - Get me another beer boy!
Alex - Ummm...there's none left. I checked yesterday.
Dad - What are you, stupid? Just go to the store and buy me more.
Alex - Yes sir.

I trudged up the stairs and went back inside my room. I went over to my drawer and stuffed some money into my pocket. I just hope that no one I know is gonna be there. I don't need my black eye spreading around the school even earlier than it's going to.

The grocery store really wasn't that far away. Only a few blocks. I wouldn't need to take my bike. So I opened the front door, I wanted so bad to look back at my father, but I couldn't. I just shut the door and let the cool air flow through my hair. My father thought that I should cut my hair, that only girls had long hair. But I knew that even if I did cut it, his attitude wouldn't even change. Nothing could change it.

The walk was boring. I just stared at the trees, listened to the birds, tried to find small faces in the clouds. And I just let my mind escape to another world. A world with just the Angelica, Peggy, Eliza, my mother, and I. A world where John and my father could no longer hurt me. A world where I was free.

But I could never live in that world.

I arrived at the grocery store soon enough. I entered and looked around at the rainbow of colours in the fruits and vegetable section. But I wasn't here for that. I was only 18, I probably wouldn't even be able to buy beer. Fuck, what was I thinking. I guess I'll just have to press my luck.

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