Maybe she thought the same?

If she did, and left because of that, I don't blame her. Something I learned the hard way: everyone has a reason and I wasn't going to put the blame on her without knowing her reasons.

My lungs were burning. The burning I longed for. The burning that makes me feel. It is sad that I yearn for feeling through internal organ pain.

I reached my pocket for my inhaler because I couldn't take a breath at all. And I started panicking. I was away from the house and I couldn't find any pharmacy or drug store in sight.

I didn't know what to do and I was well aware that panicking doesn't help an asthma attack.

How could you be so stupid? A part of my mind yelled.

Why are you panicking if you're not afraid of death? Another part screamed.

You need to get a grip on your thoughts.

I sat down on the pavement. I tried to breath slowly and patiently. The cold brisk air wasn't helping. I hoped that a passer-by would stop and magically have an inhaler.

"I thought you might need this" a voice said from behind. He plopped down next to me and handed me my inhaler. I took it gratefully and breathed in the liquid gas in it. My lungs felt so much better almost instantly. "All better?"

I said yes and thanked him.

"You're not as stealthy as you thought you were. I've been following you since you left bed-from a distance though. I didn't want to burst your thought bubble."

"I'm thankful for that too. I just needed some time, you know. To think and process things, and release all that pent up energy and frustration." I explained as much as possible. Ryder didn't seem like he wanted an explanation or care about any. He was just content that his decision to follow me was right.

"Let's get you home?"

I nodded. "I'd like that, yeah"

He got up, seemingly unfazed by the distance we crossed.

The time it took us to get home seemed a lot shorter than the time it took to get me there. Even though I was running then and walking now.

Strange how time shifts and changes depending on who you're with and what you're doing. Strange, strange concept time is.

We snuck back to my room without waking anyone up. I felt grimy and dirty and even though it was way past midnight, I decided to run a hot bath.

I took a quick shower in the shower stall as the bathtub filled. Bathing in my own filth was not something I wanted to do.

I dipped inside, the water scalding but bearable to the skin.

I felt my muscles relax and so my mind. I could sleep here in this tub forever and not have any regret.

My train of thoughts was broken by a faint knock on the bathroom door.

"Come in, Ryder" I said. I didn't worry about my state of undress because the surface of the water was all foamy. Besides, I didn't even mind Ryder seeing my dick. It was an organ like any other organ and I had bigger things to worry about.

He walked in, shirtless. "I'm just gonna use the shower"

He took a quick shower and believe it or not I did not look at him.

He stepped out with a towel around his waist, and his long wet locks pulled back. He took a long look in the mirror and sighed.

"What's wrong?"

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