Chapter 1: Suicide Season

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-Alesana's POV-

I've had enough...

I walked into the bathroom and searched under the sink for the thing I hold oh so dearly to my heart. My razor blade. I pulled it from under the sink and took all of my bracelets off dragging 5 deeps cuts across my wrists and just letting myself bleed. I sat for a good 30 minutes before everything started to get blurry. I heard foot steps and a faint voice.

"ALESANA! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" I heard a voice yell. I'm losing consciousness fast, and I don't know how much longer I'll be awake. "ALESANA!" I heard the voice yell again then a faint groaning.

After about five minutes I heard a faint siren noise before I finally died?

~The next day when Alesana is conscious~

"Ah, you're awake." I heard a doctor say. I looked over to find him in the doorway, smiling at me. Why the hell am I not dead? Why the hell is he smiling at me???

"I'm not dead?" I asked. The doctor sighed and shook his head. "No, your father got there just in time but we had to hurry and transmit blood into your system along with some fluids." He told me. I groaned and leaned my head back. "You can go home in about 30 minutes or so since you are stabilized and we will be sending you home with anti-depressants and you will be seeing a therapist in a week. We'll have your father sign you out and you'll be prepped to leave." He smiled again whilst I gulped in fear. I'm going back home to..him.. And wait, anti-depressants? What the hell? No thanks. Therapist? Nah.

In about 30 minutes that stupid doctor was correct and I was sent home with the wretched, disgusting, father. When we arrived home my father chucked the pills and note for the therapist in the trash and strolled over to me. I shrunk in fear and my father slapped me. I cried out in pain holding my cheek. "STOP YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" I screamed at him. The monster's eyes filled with rage and he began to beat me more. "YOU FUCKING ASS!" I screamed once again at him.

"DON'T TALK TO YOUR FATHER LIKE THAT!" Smack. "YOUR NOT MY FATHER AND NEVER WILL BE YOU COLD HEARTLESS BASTARD!" I yelled. Kick. I growled and the monster continued beating me while I tried everything to fight back.

~A month and 2 weeks later with multiple suicide attempts and visits to the hospital~

You know what, fuck everyone. Tonight is going to be the end with no one to stop me. No one.

I walked down the stairs of my house and walked out of the front door stealing the monster's car to drive to the nearest bridge. The bridge separating Cincinnati and Newport Kentucky I believe is the one.

It took me about an hour to arrive at the bridge and it was extremely windy and rainy. Oh fucking great.

I pulled the car over on the side of the road and began walking to the edge of the bridge. I sat there for a few minutes just thinking.

No one can really save me now. Good.

I stood up and prepared to jump when someone grabbed me around the waist and pulled me away from the edge of the bridge. Oh for fucks sake.

"Just let me jump..." I mumbled trying to hold back the tears. "I can't let someone jump, it's not my nature." I heard an English accent that's similar to mine say. "I don't" I demanded, a tear escaping my eye. "No, I'm sorry but I can't..." The man said. I turned around and by now the tears were flowing freely.

"Why do you care? You don't know me..." I mumbled, looking up into the mystery person's eyes. The mystery person just pulled me into a bone crushing hug. "Look, no matter what you're going through, you'll be pulled out of the dark. C'mon with me, we'll get you dried up." He said pulling me to where his ca-no make that bus, is located. I kept shaking my head and saying no, telling him to let me jump. "I'm not letting you jump." He told me. It was dark, and rainy out, no matter how hard I tried to see this man's face, I wasn't able to.

"What's your name love?" He asked as we were walking along the road to his bus. "A-Alesana..." I choked out. "Alesana what?" He asked, obvious confusion in his voice, and maybe a hint of hope? "Alesana Peters, but my real last name is Nicholls, I was adopted..." I mumbled looking to the ground. "Cool, my last name is Nicholls. I'm Matt by the way." Matt said. I smiled a small smile and we had finally reached the bus.

"Brick by brick by brick, and the walls began to cave in.." I mumbled a line to my favorite song. "You listen to my band?" He asked looking down at me before he opened the bus door. I looked at him and nodded slightly. "I guess if that means you're in Bring Me The Horizon.." I mumbled.

Matt smiled softly and he wrapped an arm around my shoulder and brought me onto the bus.

"Hey guys, this is Alesana. She's gonna be with us for a while." Matt introduced me to his band and I sat beside him leaning my head on his.

I looked down at my wrists and saw all the scars and saw my 'We stare at broken clocks, the hands don't turn anymore. The days turn into nights, empty hearts and empty places.' wrist tattoo. I sighed and I caught Oliver's eyes. We held each other's gaze for a few minutes then I turned away looking at Matt with realization coming into play.

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