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A/n: A new story of mine. Hope you like it!


I was looking high atop the sky inside my small bed inside my room at a near window beside me.

Tears still seep in every now and then. I still shout calling the names of all the people that left me all alone.

How could they all leave me? Why am I the one left alone? Why are they keeping me tied up in my bed?

Now I remember...

I attempted suicide.

I want the pain to go away!

Why can't those people understand I have no life without my parents?


If only she is still alive, I could still think straight.

I heard my door's room open.

I saw a young woman walk and sit beside my bed. Her brown eyes looked at me warmly but I chose to look away.

After they found me trying to kill myself thrice- by cutting my wrists, hanging and poison, they separated me from all other orphan kids that they were taking care of and put me in here alone. I also don't associate myself to anyone. I am not good in making friends. Most of all, I'm not on the mood to have one.

"Arima Kousei, the East Japan Piano Competition wishes you well for your recovery. I know that losing the people you love hurts so much but it shouldn't be the reason for you to finish yourself off. You won the competition and so, they are still inviting you to study in Okutsu," she told me.

I stared at her blankly.

They don't understand me. I have lived alone all my life.

My mom passed away.

Colors spread out when I met Kaori but she also passed away! A month after that, I received a letter that my dad died in an earthquake. I tried to lie I'm eighteen so they won't take me but they still took me.

Music to me is nonsense after I got in the orphanage.

I'm far from my friends and I can't even play my piano.

They know I'm a musician.

Even if I can already hear all of the notes, I can't leave out that everyone I love isn't with me.

"Please leave me alone," I croaked while tears crawl on my cheeks.

She asked me, "Why are you not eating, Kousei?"

"If I can't stab, hang or poison myself so I can die and be reunited with everyone I care about, I guess I'll just kill myself by starvation," I replied to her. "I'm dead in the inside already."

She forced my hand to get near her and she injected me with something. Then, she went out.

When she returned back, she's now with other doctors and they all surrounded me which overwhelmed me. She took off the handcuffs on my right hand. I tried to leave but they just pinned me on my bed. All of them held me on the bed. They struck a needle at my right hand and after a while, she forced me to drink something bitter that I swallowed anyway. I cried out, "Why are you all still trying to save me? I want to go asleep forever!"

One of the male nurses held my shoulders and said to me, "Because every life is important, Arima Kousei. I experienced the same thing! I lost my parents! I am an orphan like you but even so, I persevered. We will keep on helping you recover. Don't forget that we care for you."

I cried so hard and after a while, I felt sleepy and dizzy.

"I can't let you die, Arima Kousei. You still deserve to live," she said as my consciousness drop down.


When I woke up the next day, my right hand was in an IV and of course, they handcuffed me. This time around, they handcuffed both of my hands at the railings of my bed.

I sighed deeply. I am still alive. I don't want to breathe anymore.

Since they have noticed that I'm not in the mood to eat, they were treating me as if I am a newborn child. They give me protein shakes instead. I also heard that the fluid running through the IV Line is actually IV Nutrients.

They explained that they're giving me enough nutrition so that I won't be malnourished.

Every now and then, nurses and doctors check my progress. I heard one of them tell the young, female agents of the private orphanage who are taking care of me, "He is on moderate to severe depression. He isn't insane, yet. We can still save the child. He just needs to be kept monitored and well treated. Even so, his case is new to this institution, am I correct?"

"Yes, he is a very special case. He lost three important people in his life in a matter of only a few years while the death of his father and a friend is only roughly a month," she answered him.

I was about to sleep again due to all the medicine they give me when one of my psychologists told me, "You have a visitor, Kousei."

She took off the handcuff at the left side of my wrist after that.

When I looked up who visited me, I can't stop but cry.

"Seto-san!" I cried.

My psychologist took off another one and so, I sat up while she go closer to me. She quickly hugged me and I hugged her back.

"Seto-san!" I cried. "Father, mother and Kaori are all gone now. Why did they all die? Why did they leave me so quick?"

"Kousei, remember this, you may have lost three important people in your life but there are a lot of us who still loves you. Watari and Tsubaki are waiting for the time you will be able to get out of your depression. I hope you keep this in mind, there are a lot of people who love you and care for you," she told me.

I saw her look at my psychologist and asked why they need to restrain me. She was about to answer when I interrupted and admitted my faults. "They always have prevented me from my suicide attempts. I tried to kill myself thrice."

She looked at me surprisingly. She cried, "Kousei! Please think of us as well. We don't want you dead!"

Tears go down my eyes. "I am sorry, Seto-san. It's only that, it's difficult for me to accept that everyone I cared about is gone! It's painful, Seto-san!"

I was crying bitterly again. At that time, I was surprised when I saw the ghosts of the people I love again in front of my bed. I held her hands. I felt my hands trembling all over again.

"Kaori... Dad... Mom..." I kept calling them. I feel so happy when their ghosts appear before me. Even so, when they vanish slowly, I screamed, "PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME! MOM! DAD! KAORI!"

That's when I felt my psychologists give me sedative all over again so that I could sleep. I can't stop thinking about them.

Why leave me? Why???

I can hear myself screaming their names again and so, even with the sedative in my system, I felt them pin me down on my bed again as I kept on crying. Seto-san backed away for a while and I'm sure, she's crying.

I'm sorry...

I'm sorry...


A/n: This prologue is hard to write. The next chapter will give more details on what is happening. I wrote the prologue for all of you to know what is going on Kousei's head. Hope you like this chapter!

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