Chapter 3

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[A/N: slight trigger warning...suicide]

The curtains open, and I'm soon blinded by the light of the sun peeking into mine and Sadie's room. I groan loudly. I barely got any sleep last night. I kept on thinking of Alex. Thinking about how I already love him, and how I probably mean nothing to him. He doesn't care about me. Why would he? I'm just a would've been, could've been, should've been, never was, and never ever will be. Why would anyone want me. I bet he hates me right now too. Even I hate me.

"Hey...you okay?" I hear Sadie question. I turn to face her, and fake a smile. "Fine" I lie through my teeth. She gives me a sympathetic nod, and I can tell she knows I'm lying.

I put on a band t shirt,  some skinny jeans, then we make our way to group therapy. I groan again when I realise Alex is going to be there. 

I walk in and see Alex sitting there. He smiles at me, and points at the chair next to me, hinting at me to sit next to him. I gulp. I feel Sadie pat my back reasuringly, and I smile at her.

I sit down next to Alex, anxiously. "Hey, how're you?" He asks me. 

"Uh, good thanks. You?" I reply, putting a smile on.

"I'm great." He says, flashing me a grin.

"Look about last night..." Alex starts. Oh no. Here it comes. This is where he's going to say something like "It was a mistake, I don't need you". 

Before he can finish his sentence, Mr. Stump, the therapist starts speaking.

"Quinn." Mr. Stump calls my name, singling me out from the rest of the group.

"What?" I ask.

"How's the borderline going?" He asks, in front of everyone. I gulp. 

"Uhm...It's um...It's...bad...I guess" I stutter, looking down at the floor awkwardly. 

"Define bad." He instructs me.

"I feel suicidal again." I inform him. I catch a glimpse of the hurt in Alex's eyes, and I gulp.

Mr. Stump sighs. "Are you even trying to get better?" He questions me. I run out of the room, sobbing. I get into my dorm, and slam the door. I quickly search for my bottle of pills. No one needs me. Alex probably hates me. Sadie will carry on without me. I might as well. I open up the lid, fully prepared to do this. 

The door suddenly swings open, and Alex comes rushing in. He runs over to me, and hits the bottle of pills out of my hand. He pulls me into a tight hug, and I sob quietly into his chest.

"Please don't leave me" He begs.

"I'm sorry." I say, my voice coated with guilt.

Alex pulls away from the hug, then looks my in the eyes. "I love you" He tells me.

I wrap my arms around him, then kiss him slowly, yet passionately. 

"I love you too" I tell him, finally pulling my lips away from his.

"Don't ever try to leave me again, you understand?" He orders, but his voice remaining gentle.

I nod, then rest my head on his chest again.

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