𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲, 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐢'𝐦 𝐠𝐚𝐲 ||𝐢𝐰𝐚𝐨𝐢||𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐚||

34

A/N honestly this chapter is a result of me drinking too much coffee I don't even know what's happening here

"It's quite scary here at night" Makki said as he clung to Mattsun's arm.

"We just left the mansion. How is an empty street scary?" Oikawa sighed loudly, he was still mentally cursing at himself. He didn't care at all about Miko running off somewhere, he was more worried about Iwaizumi.

"I saw a suspicious guy before, I'm scared he might come back. If he does, I'll draw a nose on him or something, dudes' missing a few body parts" Makki sighed as he checked if he had taken his marker with him.

"Okay, question. Where do we start searching?" Mattsun asked. The three stopped in their tracks.

"No idea. We have to think like Iwaizumi. Where would Iwaizumi go?" Oikawa said, but couldn't think of anything. Iwaizumi was a sweetheart, where would he go this cold night?

"A strip club?" Makki suggested, but his failed joke attempt made the situation even worse.

"Makki, no time to joke. It's cold, he left without a coat or anything. I'm guessing he didn't take any money with him too.. I'm worried and I was the one who fucked up" Oikawa almost hit himself as he was once again reminded of what he did.

"Well, everytime we went to a shop or anywhere, he always stopped by this park. He said it meant a lot to him. Maybe we should look there" Mattsun suggested. Makki was trying to keep up with the two, because to his bad luck - both Matsukawa and Oikawa walked at an incredibly high speed.

"Okay, let's go. I have to apologize really bad" Oikawa sighed, Mattsun gave him a comforting smile.

"Make up sex maybe?" Makki suddenly said and at that very moment Oikawa tripped and fell face first into a pile of trashbags.

"Oh no, he returned to his natural habitat" Mattsun whispered quietly so that only Makki would hear. The two broke into laughter immediately.

"I cannot believe this.. My precious New Season Gucci embroidered double-breasted coat for €3,950!!" Oikawa exclaimed as he stood up and started dusting off his coat. Quite expensive, but not as expensive as that new suit he bought for Iwaizumi. Honestly the man is spoiling his butler more than his fianc-- off topic, return to the fanfic.

"Awh, I'm sorry. Maybe wear not so expensive clothes next time and instead donate the money to.. me" Makki said but only gained a glare from the other male.

With all determination to find Iwaizumi, the three headed towards the park. And Mattsun was right, they saw a familiar figure the moment the stepped in.

Iwaizumi was sitting on a bench, he was dressed in clothes he usually wears at the mansion.

"He must be cold wearing only that button-up shirt.. I feel so bad.." Oikawa said as they started approaching him. As they got closer they noticed the empty beer bottles on the ground next to him. Not a good sign.

Iwaizumi seemed to be resting, his eyes were open and he was looking at the night sky.

"I-Iwaizumi? Are you okay?" Oikawa asked as he shook him slightly.

"I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door…." he suddenly spoke in a completely calm tone. Makki and Mattsun ended up wheezing on the cold concrete while Oikawa stood with a confused look on his face.

"Uhm, okay? How high are you? Did you drink too much?" Oikawa tried asking. Iwaizumi turned to him, his cheeks slightly red from alcohol.

"No it's 'Hi, how are you?', you can't speak at all" Iwaizumi chuckled. Yep, he's pretty drunk.

"Let's get you home, I feel even worse now that I see in what state you are" Oikawa helped the other stand up, but Iwaizumi wasn't even planning to go anywhere.

"I.. I don't wanna go.. Lemme sleep on a bench" Iwaizumi tried to sit down again, but Oikawa pulled him away from a bench. He was stronger than people thought.

"Iwaizumi. I feel bad for what I did, I really do. But you have to go home, it's cold and if you stay here you'll probably get sick. Go or I'll fight you" Oikawa now understood how hard it is to deal with a drunk person.

"What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo." Iwaizumi said with such confidence that for a moment there Oikawa believed him. He was gonna say something but he was interrupted by two idiots unable to stand up from laughing too hard. So hard that they were crying.

"Okay fine. Let's sit down" Oikawa let Iwaizumi sit back down and looked around. Ah, here it is. The shop that works 24 hours everyday, that's where he got the beer.

"Guys stop wheezing and look after Iwaizumi. I'll be back quickly" Oikawa told the two who seemed to have calmed down and ran to the store.

He bought some mineral water for Iwaizumi, hopefully it helps him. Once back he found Makki making fun of Iwaizumi by asking him weird questions and laughing at his answers.

"Okay, okay.. So what is the capital of Tokyo? It's easy" Makki asked.

"Tokyo.. Capital Tokyo.. I think it's Kyoto" Iwaizumi actually seemed to be thinking really hard. Poor guy probably won't even remember anything.

"Here, drink. We're not moving till you're at least a little bit sober" Oikawa shoved a bottle into his hands.

He felt really bad. Iwaizumi probably got drunk because of him.

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YES I KNOW THIS ISN'T THE BONUS CHAPTER BUT SHHHHH

anyway, my brother is leaving to UK, Leeds tomorrow. So I'm throwing a party, all of you are invited as long as you bring snacks.

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Hope you enjoyed this weird chapter!

-hatari