If I Fell

Chapter 1: Not so Picture Perfect

"That went better this time," paul said getting a towel to dabb his sweaty forehead.

The boys all took a seat in their hotel room. They had just played their concert and were exhausted. Maily from all the work it took to be heard, they couldn't hear themselves, what with all the fans screaming.

"You must be mad john said looking at paul, that was bloody awful, it's a joke, what is a concert without being able to hear the music." John shook his head.

"If they wont stop yelling i swear im gonna lose it"

"Is this worth it anymore, are any of us having fun anymore?" he asked around.

George and ringo looked at him wanting to say no but couldn't

"C'mon paul said, we are playing music, that what's important lads, we are doing what we have wanted to do since we were teenagers in liverpool. And we are doing together." He said reassuring them.

"Well frankly i've been doing this for a couple of years now and im sick of it, george said getting up, I want to live some sort of normal life, i want to be at home with pattie, we just got married and i haven't even been in the house that long."

"I don't even see zak ringo said, and i miss maureen like mad." Ringo said joining in the conversation.

Paul looked down, "look, we have to keep going, I know all this is hell on earth but we love playing music, and look at it this way, 1966 will be our last year of touring, if we can hold off until the end of this year we can do it."

Looking at each other the boys left it at that, there was no point to keep arguing.

The beatles were worldwide stars, they had toured nonstop for a couple years now, and had everything, money, women and all.

John especially had everything, his wealth, mansion, and even a girlfriend who was almost as famous as he was, Claire carlyle was a top model, who was becoming as big as jean shrimpton and twiggy. She and john had been dating for a year now, and it all seemed to be everything he wanted in his life. And yet he felt something was still missing he just didn't know what.

"You gonna call claire, george asked holding the phone?" Wanting to know if he was gonna have to use it.

"No, john said, i actually might have some other plans tonight if you know what i mean." he said suggestively.

There was a group of girls mal had gotten, they were waiting to come up. It would be the usual routine for john, sleep with one of them smoke some pot and go to bed. This routine was starting to drain on him yet he wouldn't admit it to the others. He knew he should have felt bad considering he and claire were an item but he figured what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her.

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Getting up from his bed john looked at the naked girl beside him, she was good but easily forgetful. Hopefully she would leave soon.

"That was amazing" the girl said, lying on the bed.

John didn't answer he just put his pajama pants on.

"So do you want some company, i can stay" she said smiling.

"No thanks," he said, "you can go ahead and go."

With a combination of anger and sadness she got dressed quickly and promptly left.

Making his way to the couch in the suite he saw all the girls promptly leaving, the boys made it a habit of not having any of them actually spend the night.

As paul and john sat down with their guitars strumming chords it was already 1 am. John knew he should go to sleep but he couldn't and neither could paul.

Oh that's good, paul said complementing one of johns riffs.

Do you really enjoy all of this, john asked him.

What do you mean, paul said looking down at his strings trying to match johns chords.

This, john said moving his arms around. Fame, money, women all of this.

Looking up paul thought about it. "Look for me it's about the music. I've always wanted to be a musician. The money, women, they are just things that come along the way" he said looking back down at his guitar.

"What about you?" paul asked him.

"Me?" john said, "Of course its bloody fantastic, who wouldn't want this, he said, we've got everything." And yet as john said these words he felt the exact opposite, just like paul he loved the music but everything also was everything he wanted and yet wasn't truly making him happy.

"Ya, i guess," paul said.

Finally after about an hour of working on chords, they decided to call it a night and go to bed.

As john laid in his hotel room bed, that question was still in his mind was i truly happy?