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y e r i
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one week.
one whole week since sooyoung and i have spoken.
we still perform as a band, but once we leave the stage, we don't even acknowledge the other's presence. i don't think that she's mad, i just think she's not sure what to say.
the past few days she's been fucking around with other girls.
i've been sleeping in joohyun's bedroom for the past week, so i don't sleep in the same bedroom as sooyoung for now at least.
but almost every night, she sneaks another girl into the dorm and leads her to her bedroom, even though we're not allowed to have people come visit us at our dorm.
and then in the morning while i'm eating my breakfast, i see the random girl leave.
and it's a different girl each time.
it's weird, sooyoung fucks with them, and then she's done with them.
maybe that's what she does.
she fucks with everyone's feelings and then leaves them.
kind of like she did with me.
does she care about my feelings? no.
because she's park sooyoung. that's who she is.
i've been so caught up in this mindset that when joohyun kindly asked me to return to my old bedroom, i didn't know how to handle it. i didn't know how to face sooyoung.
but i knew i would have to speak to her at some point, so i sucked it up, took a deep breath and walked to my old bedroom.
"hey, i'm moving back in here now," i told her in a monotone voice, not really much enthusiasm. she can't know that i feel a bit upset. it's not like she cares.
"oh, alright then," she replied quietly in a soft voice, not even meeting my eyes.
"i'm just gonna say this now, you can't be fucking around with other girls now that i'm back in here, i don't wanna see that." i told her firmly and sat on my twin bed, making sure i hold my ground.
"wasn't planning on it, i'm not stupid or disrespectful like that, thanks for checking though," she said sarcastically and looked up at me. she held my gaze for a moment, her eyebrows furrowed as she scowled slightly, as if she was searching for something. "really, what is your problem with me?"
"i don't have a problem with you, that's not it at all," i said, and shifted on my bed so i was leaning against the wall, facing her.
"then what's up with you nowadays? you can't come in here and act like my mom without telling me what's up," sooyoung said stubbornly and crossed her arms.
"it's because i'm in love with you sooyoung, and i don't know how to handle it," i replied honestly, knowing her reaction would be harsh.
she sat there for a moment and sighed, probably thinking of how to reply.
"yerim, i think you're really cute, but there's lots of things you wouldn't understand. everything is too complicated, and you're so young. i don't want to drag you into this mess, and i'm not going to."
well. i didn't expect any more from her, or any less from her either.
but i was still hurt.
"if that's how you feel, sooyoung, then i guess i can't change it," i muttered and lied down on my bed, curling up into a ball, forcing my eyes shut, and falling to sleep.
