Terrible Things (Clexa AU)

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Clarke tells her son of the first time she really fell in love. 

Clarke looked at the little boy playing in the floor. How he could have been different. His hair was black where it could have been brown, his skin pale where he could have had a bit of a tan, and his eyes weren't nearly as soft as they could have been. She thought that this baby would be less painful, but it wasn't. Especially when he brought thoughts of what could have been. 

"Mommy, tell me a story." He said and Clarke pulled the small boy onto her lap. "About the first time you fell in love." 

"Okay." Clarke said, not having to think very hard. 

~~Flash that shit back~~ 

"Ahem." Clarke looked up to see a girl standing above her. "Normally you're walking out when I come in. Do you mind if I sit here?" 

"Go ahead." Clarke said and the girl sat down next to her. "You're that basketball player right?" 

"Yeah, Lexa Woods." She said, her voice better than anything Clarke had ever heard before. "You're that Griffin girl right?" 

"Yeah, Clarke." Clarke said shaking Lexa's hand. Her skin was soft, feeling perfect against Clarke's. "My mom had your forms in her office." 

"Yeah, it's nothing important." Lexa said, smiling brightly. "I'm focusing on finishing the season strong and graduating." 

"What are you majoring in?" Clarke asked and Lexa showed her a photography book. "I'm pre-med." 

"Ah, must be stressful." Lexa said and Clarke nodded. "I don't know if you know this, but stress isn't good for you. Maybe I could take you on a date to ease that stress a bit?" 

"I'd love that." Clarke said smiling. 

~~Skip to end of basketball season~~ 

"Clarke!" Lexa yelled, chasing after her girlfriend. "What's wrong?" 

"Have you seen my mom lately?" Clarke asked, knowing that her mother was Lexa's doctor. 

"Yeah, we just went over some stupid results for a test." Lexa said and Clarke gave her a look. 

"When did you plan on telling me?" Clarke asked and Lexa looked confused. "I'm her intern Lexa, your file was one of the ones I had to look over." 

"Oh, well, I wasn't going to tell you until I was sure it was bad." Lexa said and Clarke's eyes teared up. "I'm sorry." 

"There's no time for sorry." Clarke said and Lexa gave her a funny look. "Our lives are too short to be sorry." 

"Yeah, they are." Lexa said kissing Clarke softly. "Go, you'll be late for class." 

"Yeah." Clarke said, not noticing the little tear that escaped Lexa's eye as she walked away. 

~~Skip about 4 months~~ 

Lexa was getting worse, but Clarke stayed by her side. The coughing fits would erupt spontaneously, almost always followed by blood. Lexa was skinnier than normal and getting pale. Clarke hated to see her sick, but could't stand to be anywhere but her side. Lexa insisted she was fine, acted like the smallest everyday tasks hadn't become almost impossible. 

"Clarke." Lexa said laying on the blanket outside. "I  have to tell you something." 

"What is it?" Clarke asked and Lexa looked away from her gaze, tears staining her cheeks. 

"I can feel myself slipping." Lexa said and Clarke looked at her. "I've tried to stay for you, but I don't think I can." 

"Oh." Clarke said, not thinking she deserved to ask anything of Lexa. 

"I need you to do two things for me." Lexa said and Clarke nodded. "First I want a kiss, then I want you to live your life just like you did without me. Be happy, enjoy everything, but never forget me." 

"I will not forget you." Clarke said kissing Lexa softly. They laid on the blanket, Lexa falling asleep in Clarke's arms. When Clarke woke up in the morning, Lexa was gone. She's gone peacefully in sleep, all too young to be gone. 

~~End Flashback~~ 

"What was her name?" 

"Lexa." Clarke said, a tear in her eye. 

"Oh." The boy said and Clarke looked at her son curiously as he walked over to his toy box and grabbed a little basketball. 

"What are you doing?" Clarke asked and the boy smiled at her. 

"I'm going to be just as good of a basketball player as Lexa and maybe a girl just as amazing as you will fall in love with me." He said and Clarke smiled. "And I won't be like Daddy. I'll love her lots forever." 

"Oh." Clarke said and the boy started shooting baskets in his play room. Clarke wished that night for her son to find somebody who had a love like the one she shared with Lexa, just without the tragic ending. Even though it was Bellamy who fathered him, Clarke saw traces of Lexa in him, ones that she hadn't really noticed before. 

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