"I know, Addison." He breaths heavy and I can't take it anymore.

"Mike, I don't think you're getting it." I stare at him and he looks back at me with a blank expression.

"Michael Christopher Fuentes, I am on the verge of ripping your soul out." I practically yell at him but he just doesn't seem phased by it at all.

I feel tears prickling into my eyes and I want to run away so he doesn't see me cry but I am feeling weaker as I sit down more. He has no wheels turning into his head and I want to snap his head.

"Is it someone else that they couldn't see me on your Instagram?" I ask in disbelief.

He snaps his face up at me and gives me a face I wish I could have snapped and stored away.

"Hell fucking no, Addison." He sneers and I am taken back.

"Quit trying to make me seem like the bad guy here! I am not fucking anyone." He yells at me and stands up from his position. I can tell he is about to break and so am I.

"You are the bad guy though! You're the one who made out with some whore at a party just because some things are going tough! I cut open my own flesh because of you." I have tears pouring down my face and he stalks away from the laptop, no longer in sight.

I can hear stuff being broken in the background and it only causes my tears to come down more and at a faster pace. I am choking on sobs and it only gets worse when I see a picture frame getting tossed into the wall. Even though I am in tears, I am getting pushed and drunk off of adrenaline.

"Mike, if you don't stop..." I choke back my tears and continue, "I will go get the blade."

All the air has been sucked from my room and it seems as time has stopped for me, as I think back to the most horrid time in my life. All I can see is the blood coming out of my skin and onto the blade. I can feel the tingles on my skin as I relive the memory. 

My thoughts are soon cut off when I notice Mike is back at his seat with a look, I can't explain. It's as if his eyes are begging me to not even think about it and take back what I only said moments ago. His eyes keep darting from each of my eyes and I wipe away a tear of mine.

"Michael." I say hesitantly and watch his reaction but his eyes stay locked on to me.

"No, Addison." His voice is shaky and he closes his eyes if it's painful for him to say something.

"If you ever go to the blade again because of me..." He starts to say but I cut him off.

"I won't." I take a deep breath. "I only said that because I knew it would get you to stop."

His breathing seems to calm down when I finish that sentence and he finally breaks eye contact, pulling his hands to his face. He says nothing and I am still having so much rushing through me that my mouth is taking over.

"What was in that picture frame?" I dart my eyes to my wall not wanting to see his reaction for asking such a question in this time of manner.

"It's a photo of you." He barely whispers and I can feel my heart swelling but I push it back and keep going.

"Why?" I ask my breath shaky and I don't know if this will go bad or good.

"Why?" He laughs.

"Look at me Addison." He waves his head up and down, I can tell this is going to go bad.

"Look at me!" He raises his voice but backs down.

"I am in love with you." His breath is becoming unsteady again and so is mine.

"I have been inlove with you for so long and I don't know how or when. It was like, I knew you were meant for me. I just knew it, I kenw it from the first time I seen your smile. Do you know how many times I fall asleep dreaming of that perfect, cheeky smile of yours? Every fucking night and then some. I have wanted nothing more than to hold you even on your worst nights. I don't care if you hate me after this, I need you and want you. I crave you, Addison." He stops and looks at me, but I am in complete shock at all of this, espcailly the shift in mood.

"Whenever I tell my friends about you, they have to get me to shut up because I constantly do it. I always have you on my mind even at the most irrelevant times. I can be making me a PB&J and I wonder just how much peanut butter and jelly would you put on it. I have always considered you into my life, and I want you to be apart of it." He cries and I want to hold him. I am needing and longing for his touch by once again my fingers are stopped by a cold, hard, monitor.

"Did you see the picture message I sent you the other night?" He tries to steady his breathing as I think back to if I recall a message. 

"No... I didn't bother reading all 29 messages from you." I chuckle, "I turned my phone off after you left my cam session." My expression forms into a hard line when I am brought back to what is suppose to be at hand here.

 "I love you, Mike." I say and truly mean it.

"And I love you." He says and I look at a broken man infront of me.

"We cannot forget at what is wrong here though. I need answers and I need them now."

He is taken back by my authority and I don't feel sorry for him right now. He has been hiding something from me and it's not what people do. Not the way we are suppose to be.

"My brother and his past." He speaks but it's so slow that I have to pay attention so carefully.

"What about it?" I say in a hushed tone as if someone is listening to us.

"Addison." He says but I cut him off,

"No more Addison's, Mike. You will tell me." I mean everything behind my sentence and watch his face. It takes so many moments till he finally speaks,

"When is your next break?"


"Like school break?"

"Yes." He's being so simple and I'm not totally sure where he is going with this.

"Next month. I have Spring break the first week." I look down at my phone and the date says February 20th

"Looks like I will be planning my trip sooner than I thought." His voice becomes shaky and I push my eyebrows together in confusion.

"I will be visiting you on Spring break. I will meet you and explain then." He says and my heart is in two. One side is swelling up twice it's size at the thought of finally getting to meet the guy who I love. The other side is becoming micro at the thought of it all going wrong.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive" He says so quickly.

"You will explain everything then?" I ask with an annoyed voice that we keep postponing our talk.

"I promise I will expain everything in full detail, Addi."

I give it a thought and I want to consider it but all my thoughts are consumed by two lanky arms wrapping around me. I have dreamt of his kisses and those lips since the first time we have cam'd. I cannot wait to have his presence around me and I cannot wait to spend every second with him for making up time while we were separated.

I can tell I have a smile on my face and I feel the heat in my cheeks, along with a deep burning in my stomach. I need him more than anything and I will soon have him.

"Addi?" He breaks me from my thought and when I look at him he is smiling just as bright.

"Look at my text now?" I grab my phone and go straight to his messages. I scroll up, skimming over all 29 messages he sent me until I come across the picture.

I open it up to notice my teddy bear that I want so badly along with my favorite movie but my eyes don't seem to stay there long when I notice a hand written letter. I take a few moments to read it and I look at him in awe.

"Mike." I choke and wipe a tear away from my eye.

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