His To Keep

Chapter 5

 *AKRITI*

"Are you sure you don't want to go?" Arnika asked her sister umpteenth time to see if she had changed her mind.

"Yes I'm sure! Now go. I am pretty sure I won't get lost here." Akriti assured her.

Arnika was about to go to a spa and have a day full of relaxation ahead. She had actually booked it for Akriti so that she could get her mind and body relaxed but she refused to go. After a lot of trying and persuasion, the little sister had given up. It was a non-refundable booking and would have been a shame if went unused so Akriti suggested her sister to go instead.

After her sister left, Akriti sat on the balcony with a diary that she found last night. She wasn't sure how long it had been lying in her luggage bag or how it got there in the first place. It wasn't an ordinary diary, it was the one that Rahul had gifted her on their first year anniversary of being together way back in 2006. She was eager to rediscover her old self by reading it after all these years. She wiped off the layer of dust collected on the cover of the dark blue diary with the palm of her hands and opened the first page. She had almost forgotten about the quote he had written for her to show how much he believed in her.

"For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."

The quote from The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button was the same but it was only now that she truly understood it's meaning. She now had to gather the strength to start all over yet again once she got back to Mumbai. She didn't update her diary regularly but made sure to fill up on all the important things that happened with her. She took a look at the last entry she had made in the diary. It wasn't a long one. It was dated 10/02/2010.

Dear Diary,
                     I happen to have a ring on my finger now and you should know that it is really pretty. He is such a blessing. He makes me go weak in my knees. I never thought I'd be this happy ever again. I do miss mom, dad and grandma. They would have been so happy to see me finally standing on my own in a perfect life with the perfect job and the perfect guy. I really miss them a lot, especially today. In other news tomorrow Rahul has planned something very special for me. He always does. I too have a surprise for him. It's a scrapbook in which I have pasted seven pictures of us, each resembling an amazing memory of ours from the seven years we've spent together and I can't wait to fill the rest of the blank pages. I have a gut feeling that tomorrow night is going to be a night that I will never forget all my life and so I need to get all the beauty sleep that I can. I will keep you updated with every single detail.

Love,
Krita.

Yes, that was definitely a night she will remember the rest of her life but just not the way she wanted to. It brought back a lot of painful memories but she realized she needed to get past her past with both Rahul and Karan if she really wanted to make a fresh start. She thought of making a new entry in it. The idea behind using the same diary was that it would hurt her to turn the pages with the bitter sweet memories for maybe a week or a month. But after that it wouldn't. She would get used to it. She took out a fresh page in the diary and dated it 07/10/2014.

Dear Diary,
                      Remember when you're young and seventeen and just have it all figured out? I did too. At least I thought I did. I just knew in my heart that when I grow up, I'll get a degree, have a nice job and make everyone proud. I thought somewhere in between my Mr. Prince Charming would come and sweep me off my feet and we'll live happily ever after. I was just seventeen right? But then life happened. I realized that it is not a fairytale and the concept of happily ever after started fading away with time. I learnt to handle things on my own because I knew that people were going to disappoint me no matter what. I didn't want to be dependent on a man or be defined by him. And I've grown into this strong, independent woman I always wanted to be. But something is still missing. And I can't really search for it because I don't exactly know what I am looking for. I thought I had found it when I found Rahul but times have changed since then. He's gone now. And I don't know if I'll ever feel that way again. I did give it a try but it didn't work out. When I look at Arni, she has acquired everything we ever dreamed of. The dream job, the dream house, the dream guy. I obviously am happy for her and even proud. But that makes me question if it's really the people that are going to disappoint me. What if I am that disappointment myself? Where did I go wrong? I don't have time to think about it now because I have to put on a happy face and be there for my sister. My little sister is getting married and I cannot let anything spoil it for her. Not even myself.