(disclaimer: i wrote this at like midnight when i was alone with my thoughts yikes)
hey this is very different from what i usually write about. it's personal and a thing i've struggled with forever. i really felt the need to write about it, but this will probably never get published.
so i've had body issues since maybe 4th grade??? literally for as long as i can remember i've been insecure. it kind of just fucking sucks never ever being comfortable in your own body.
i've never been overweight but i've never felt skinny. trust me ikkkkkk that to be beautiful and confident and to absolutely slay everybody's existance you don't need to be skinny. plus size models (not just the models but also plus size people everywhere) are so beautiful and stunning. i've just never been able to accept my body unless i have no fat. ik that's a horrible horrible horrible way to think, but all my friends are toothpick skinny and it's hard to be confident when everyone around me sets the bar so high.
all this insecurity started with my friend. she was so mean to me. she would call me fat and ugly. i don't know if she meant it as a joke or whatever but it honestly left lasting impressions that i wasn't good enough. hearing this from someone i considered a best friend really messed with me. she has gotten considerably nicer and is still one of my best friends. it just sucks because whenever i try to bring that up she goes "that was like 5th grade get over it" but i caNT
when i talk about my insecurities to people and they say something like "what??? oh no you're a twig!!" that sucks because i don't believe that and other people just brush off my insecurities because of what they think
i hate my stomach, i hate my thighs, i hate my acne, i hate my double chin, don't like my teeth, not too fond of just my face. i just don't like a lot of things about myself but i'm working through it. i got a two piece dress to homecoming which im really reconsidering but i'm tryin
having body issues just fucking sucks
im going to post this because i feel like even if no one in my real life will listen maybe at least someone online will
