Where do we continue? (Pick and Rome) // Puppy Honey the Series

Looking Back (Part 1)

IMPORTANT N/A: ALL ITALICIZED WORDS ARE MEANT TO BE FLASHBACKS. ALL "NORMAL" LETTERS ARE PICK'S CURRENT THOUGHTS. THESE THOUGHTS MIGHT RUN For 1-3 CHAPTERS DEPENDING ON WHAT I CAN THINK OF. PLEASE ENJOY <3

"I should've been here from the start. It's really quiet here. It's chaotic over there."

"Do you mean your heart?", P'Porsche's words echoed through my head.

-

What is this guy? Why does he constantly haunt my thoughts. I thought that going to this province would clear my head and yet my thoughts were constantly filled with Rome. I would forget him the moment I started working but the moment I stopped, the silence gave me more time to think. It even screamed louder since no trace of cars, taxis or busses could be heard bustling outside.

What is it that I wanted? Did I want him? Not once in my life did I identify as gay and yet everytime he makes a move, I'm incapable of moving. It all started with that kiss.

-

I sat completely frozen as he kissed me. Punch him! Get him off of you! The moment we broke apart, I've never felt so confused. Walking away, I had to clear my head. What did this all mean?

"Why didn't I punch you?", I asked Rome, not being able to answer myself.

"Did you want to do that?", he asked nervously. I cursed to myself unsure if I did. "But you didn't oppose earlier. Does that mean that you..?"

"Stop it right there!", I said commandingly. 'Don't tell anyone about this or I'll punch you for real!"

"Alright, I won't", he said looking down, obviously disappointed. I could sense the amount of hurt in his voice but I was too confused to think. If I found him disgusting, I would have punched him the moment he got close but I didn't.

I sighed loudly. This would pass. I don't feel anything for this junior. A guy of all things. This would pass. I continuously repeated this in my head.

-

To say I was confused after that day was an understatement. I could barely think straight when I was with Rome. It became a habit to crush his feelings day to day, thinking that things could go back to the way it was but it wasn't that easy. He was persistent. No matter how many times I had insulted him, even if he were obviously hurt, he would act as if I had not said anything. Don't say I didn't care about him, I did. Obviously I did, if not I wouldn't have waited to send him home everyday or spent most of my breaks with him. Although I was unsure of my feelings, I liked having him around. He constantly got on my nerves with his doting gazes and countless words of affection, which made me want to puke and yet I could never fully let go of him.

The worst fight we've ever had was when he had lied to me and said that he told my father we were dating. I thought he was insane. How could he tell my father that we were dating when I wasn't even sure of it. I felt all the rage rise to my head.

"and between you and me there's nothing going on!", I said furiously as I pushed his head. "Do you get it? Do you get it now?" I gripped his shirt in anger until he got the point. He pushed me away, opened the car door to get his bag and walked away crying. I got back in my car and hit the steering wheel continuously.

At that time, I felt no guilt. I was mad. How could he tell my father so carelessly like that? How would I face him when I get home? Fucking Rome. He messes with my head and now tries to ruin my life.

AN: This was never a part of the series but is solely made up by me.

As I got home, I thought twice before getting out of the car. What would my father say? I knew that I couldn't hide forever. I got out of the car and reluctantly entered the door.

'Oh, Pick. Aren't you going back to school to play football?", my father said calmly. This was weird. I would have expected him to bring up what Rome had just said.

"No, I thought I would do my projects instead." I replied nervously, still waiting for him to ask the dreaded question.

'Ah, I see. Go up then", he said with a smile. "Oh, that friend of your, Rome? A really sweet face, I can't imagine someone like him playing football with you and Porsche." He laughed and walked away.

This was weird, was I missing something? Did my father completely disregard what Rome had told him? Did my father become this open minded as he spent time abroad? I expected him to at least comment on the fact that his son was now "allegedly" and that his "alleged" boyfriend had come over. Something was not right.

(The next day)

As I woke up, I checked my phone. My Line had been flooded with messages from this junior named Rin. I scrolled through her messages and decided to reply to some. Going back to my inbox, although I did not want to admit it, I was annoyed as not one message had come from Rome. It was still morning; maybe he would cool off after a while.

-around the evening-

I could not take it anymore. My frustration was rising. How could he not call or at least text me once today? Was he this mad? I glanced at my phone, avoiding contacting him as much as possible.

"Ugh", I screamed in frustration as I ran my hands through my scalp and ended up throwing the phone. Not one message. Was I in the wrong? But who was he to tell my father what was happening between us. No, this was not over. Knowing Rome, he would come running back like a puppy. He couldn't go past 2 days without contacting me.

Boy was I wrong.

Looking back to that, on the 3rd day of absolute silence, I could not take it anymore. I decided to wait outside the photography club's room the whole day, completely disregarding my own classes. From morning until the guard had woken me up as it was already 8 pm, I was there outside that door waiting for Rome to come out.

Had the security guard not woken me up, I would've ended up sleeping on the campus floor. I got in my car and drove back home.

"This was what you wanted, right Pick", I said to myself. "There was nothing between the two of you. It's good that he isn't communicating with you anymore. You'll have lesser burdens; anyway you're not gay. You just felt bad for him." I tried to convince myself that it was fine but I knew that I wouldn't have just waited the whole day for just anyone. As the traffic light came to a stop, I was given 1 minute to think.

"Fuck", I cursed as my heart felt heavier than ever. I was mad once again. I was mad that Rome did not contact me but I was more mad at myself for completely pushing him away. 3 days without throwing insults towards his direction was bad enough, what if he completely wanted to cease contact with me? Who would I be fighting with then? I was anxious to say the least. I wanted Rome to stop flirting with me, stop being everywhere I went and most importantly, to stop making me so confused. I never thought of what would happen if he actually did decide to stay away.

3 days without you talking to me and I was on the verge of going crazy. Whether or not I liked to admit it, I missed you. I felt like an absolute jerk as I recalled what I had said... but I didn't think you would give up on me. You always came back.

I would never tell you how relieved I was when I saw you waiting for me at my house. That conversation we had had made me more confused than ever. You saw through me completely and no matter how much I denied that I spent the whole day waiting for you, inside I was glad that you knew. You would never know how relieved I felt when you told me that you weren't mad at me anymore. You even tricked me to thinking that you were actually going to kiss me, and once again I froze.

As you left with a smile on your face, knowing that you knew a part of me cared, I could not help but scoff. Everything was back to normal so quickly. " I knew you would come back", I thought smugly. But fuck was I scared that you wouldn't.