Culling

Part II • Chapter IX

"Oh." I pressed my finger to my lip and frowned. "If the Hendricks family is so powerful, then why does President Hendricks work with the Blackbourne and Gentreau families?"

Sean thought a moment. "That's where it gets political. To simplify, think of it like this. Blackbourne and Gentreau are the second and third most powerful in ability, wealth and influence. If one of the two families were to launch a full out revolution against President Hendricks then there would be a civil war. Hendricks would win, but it would be costly to the country. President Hendricks does not want to rule a country of ruin. Does that make sense?"

"That makes sense. Thank you for explaining." I said nothing else. The last couple of days there had been so much information coming to me and so fast... Sean must have noticed that I needed to think, and Silas began running his fingers through my hair as they let me digest.

Meanwhile Luke and Gabriel began to steer the conversation in a happier direction. At some point Sean encouraged me to take some medication and urged Silas to sit in another chair; he wanted to test out how effective regular medication and Gabriel's foot-rubs would help.

I was still in some pain, but the chocolate, the presence of my guys, and relaxing, was enough to let me start to doze off again.

However, there was something else that was on my mind. Something that had been nagging at me since the previous night and my little speech to the boys. It was the second reason I had been up most of last night, unable to sleep even though Silas had been wrapped around me comfortingly.

Yesterday I told the boys that I didn't love them yet, and that I didn't know what love was. That was true. But when they spoke like they might not all survive, well... It brought up some thoughts and feelings that I was trying to work through.

At some point during the last two weeks each and every one of these boys had become precious to me. Individually, they contributed uniquely to our group and held a piece of my heart. I knew that if I lost even one of them, let alone all of them, that there wouldn't be a me. So that was a senseless worry for them to have, but I didn't want to tell them that.

I was beginning to notice them in different and new ways too, and I wasn't sure what to think about that. It was true that seeing them shirtless had been nice before, after all they were very attractive. However, now my feelings were becoming even more confusing. Every time I took a bath with them it became harder and harder to control my thoughts and emotions...

But I must have been somewhat successful, because I didn't think that anyone was aware of my growing lack of control. And we weren't even married yet! It made me feel bad, especially since they didn't seem to have any changing feelings towards me at all.

Then the topic of marriage had been something else on my mind. Owen had been adamant that even though we were bound, that we were not married. From what I recalled, they said something about wanting to focus on that aspect of things after the games.

And it made me so happy that there was going to be an after. But was I going to do in the meantime? Could I control myself that long? Would I attack them in the middle of the night?

Would they like it?

I wasn't sure if blood, death, and destruction would be enough to curb my wanton emotions. I had almost hyperventilated this morning when I felt Silas against my back. I wanted to ask them how they remained so controlled, but I was afraid of the answer.

What was happening to me?

I was almost completely asleep when Kota returned.

He didn't seem surprised to see us as we were - candy wrappers crowded around Luke and myself, Gabriel at my feet, while Sean played with my hair and Silas watched on from an armchair. He just walked in, grinned slightly at me, and said that he had some news.