Dear society

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Dear society,

Its the 8th of April, 2014.

Today a group of boys came up to me and spent the entire 30 minutes of lunch time just telling me how ugly, slutty and apparently, lesbian I am. (Which I am definitely not)

As I sit here still crying, and being thankful for the promise I made with a close friend of mine to not cut, I realize how cruel society is.

No matter what we do, we're always judged. It's like the thought, meaning and acknowledgment of the fact that people have feelings is slowly fading away. Before we know it, it's gone. Just like the pure whiteness in a cloud that is yet to turn dark.

At least we can tell ourselves what we're not, but that's like telling another person to just get over it when they're in therapy for trying to kill themselves, or telling an anorexic to just eat.

It's not that easy.

And I envy and admire the people who don't know what this feels like. Or the people who have the patience and compassion to love someone who does. Or simply the people who have the strength to put the blade, needle, drug, gun, and lighter down.

"We're all human" they say. Don't humans have hearts? Feelings? Thoughts? Memories? A BRAIN? How could we forget something as crucial as another's heart. We're not made out of stone. We're not all as easy going as others. Not all of us can find a way out.

And I know that feeling so well. I know what it feels like to be bullied, to feel ugly, stupid and worthless. I know what it feels like to feel as though even your own family doesn't care. I know how it feels to lose someone important, or to be in therapy. Or to even attempt suicide after the cuts that now look like stitches because of their depth and amount.

But I know what it feels like to get out of depression and see how beautiful life is. But then... I get to experience the sinking feeling and being pulled right back into it.

So thank you. Thank you society, for being the cause of Anorexia, Bulimia, depression, addictions, and let's not forget that you're the leading cause for suicide of people who haven't even gotten to see how beautiful something as simple as a tree can be.

The people you despise.


To all my fans, let's all just take a minute to mentally hold hands and wish each other good luck and the best in life.

I appreciate all of you who give me so much support and motivation to keep going on with my story, and I'm not just talking about my Wattpad stories.

I love you all so much. Thank you.

~Even monsters can love~

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