04. A little more special bowl

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I've been taking my medication so don't worry about it.
I wonder if you have sleepless nights and think about me. About us.
Because I do, probably much more often than I should, but as I've told you, I'm not good at forgetting you.
Maybe it's the fact that I spent at least an hour trying to find out the correct words to transmit trough these letters.
I've been looking at our pictures together.
I'm holding to that, Yoongi.
I'm holding to the past us. Something that doesn't exist anymore and it hurts not because it's over but because maybe it never really existed.
You look incredibly happy in these pictures.
Your gummy smile shows and it's almost as bright as your eyes when you're with me.
And I wonder, how do I know this was real?
I don't.
Or I do. It was real for me, at least.
So the folder with old pictures on my phone is one of the last things I have left from you.
One of them, because your scent hasn't left my pillow yet and your favorite bowl is with the rest but I will always know that one is a little more special and your side of the bed stays cold and empty so I tend to remember it used to belong to someone.
Forgetting progress: I'm fucked up.


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