But...(Sequel to If Only) ✔

Chapter 18.

"What the hell do you think your doing?" He asked looking directly on my eyes

"Who the fuck do you think you are, my father!?" I said my patience running thin. All I wanted was a fucking drink, and whether he likes it or not:

"I'm getting a fucking drink."

Turning around, I started walking back but was stopped once again.

"Stop turning your back on me." Daniel said and  lightly shake my shoulders. "You can't just drink your sorrows away."

That's when I lost it. With all the pent up anger, frustration, sadness,despair, depression, grief and alcohol that I had in me, I began to yell at him.

"Fuck you!" I screamed

"You know you're a fucking hypocrite!!! When you're upset you drink your ass off, now you're trying to tell me that I can't do the same?!"

"You know, I wouldn't even be here if you just moved the fuck on. But NOOO you just had to fuck up my relationship with my BOYFRIEND and fucking kiss me. Can't you see that I've move on?!?!. Plus you're the one who fucking left me you asshole!!!"

"Why can't you get it you through you thick skull, I DON'T love you anymore!!! I wasted eighteen fucking years loving you, only to be left AGAIN. So now listen to me and listen well, I'm going to say it one more time in hopes that you finally get the memo. I DONT FUCKING LOVE YOU ANYMORE. THERE WILL NEVER BE A FUTURE FOR US."

"YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT I SEE IN YOU?!"

"I SEE A BLACK OBLIVION, A BLACK HOLE WHERE YOU'LL NEVER SEE LIGHT IN. I SEE NOTHING BUT A BROKEN BOY. YOU'RE BROKEN BEYOND REPAIR DANIEL. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO HELP YOU. I'VE TRIED GIVING YOU LOVE BUT YOU JUST THROW IT AWAY. DANIEL YOU'RE HOPELESS. YOU'RE JUST TOO BROKEN AND IT'S STARTING TO RUB OFF ON ME. I DON'T WANT THAT. I DON'T WANT THAT ANYMORE. I WAS HAPPY. I WAS SO FUCKING HAPPY WITH COBY. WHY'D YOU HAVE TO COME BACK?! YOU ALWAYS END UP HURTING ME. EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME. YOU ALWAYS HURT ME" I yell in exasperation.

I know what I said made me sound like a bitch but I don't care anymore. He put me through hell already. I can't take it anymore. Being with him just causes so much pain. Looking at him, he looked heartbroken at my words. But with the all the overwhelming emotions that were stirring up in me and with all the alcohol that was in my body, I didn't care anymore. I just couldn't deal with him anymore. I was done. I was so fucking done.

"I'm sorry." Is all he said as he walked away from me.

All I did was stare at his retreating form until he turned the corner. My heart started hurting even more. I went back inside to do the same that I've veen doing since I first started hurting again.

Drinking.

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