Before the 2nd Kiss - Part 7

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I returned to school after the break, glad to be back in my safe space. My roommate since the beginning of the school year had been Tim and upon my return, he sensed something was up with me.

I couldn't quite place Tim. He was awkward our first meeting and though he'd assured me he wasn't homophobic then, one of the first things he'd said when we were paired up to room together was, "I don't have a problem with you being gay, but I'd appreciate it if you don't do gay stuff where I can see." At times he could be a jerk, at other times he was strangely kind, like when he'd given me medicine after noticing I was sick. And now, he noticed something was off and was asking if I was okay.

"My whole family knows I'm gay and my cousins' grandfather is a 70-year-old closeted gay man who wants me to follow in his footsteps, but I'm cool," I'd said.

Honestly, I would survive. It being confirmed that I was indeed a maricón who sucked vergas, my cousins didn't get as much enjoyment out of teasing me anymore. My uncle was satisfied with ignoring me. They never wanted me to bring a guy to family events ever―even if that guy was my husband―but my mom, tía, and aunt were still supportive. It was fine and I wouldn't have to deal with them again for another several months to a year.

Besides, I had awesome friends, one of which I was having awesome sex with. Everything would be fine.

Then, on the first day of Winter semester, Jay came to talk to me and took away one of those things.

***

Jay came to tell me that we couldn't be friends with benefits anymore because he was now going to be friends with benefits with that supposedly straight, manipulative, egotistical guy, Elias.

By this time I'd realized I did feel for Jay in ways beyond sex. He was the type I could hop on the couch with, watching Netflix and eating delivery food. He was fun to be around and was a caring friend. And, yes, we also had amazing sex. But Jay was also the type I couldn't trust with my heart. And this was further proof. He even asked me for tips on bottoming right after breaking up with me. He was selfish.

My bitterness spurned a small fight with him, and I did something stupid that I instantly regretted. I went to Lexi, upset and needing to confess my sins.

"You forced him to tell his other best friend all of his secrets? And they had a fight?" she clarified, both eyebrows raised as the pottery wheel rolled to a stop.

"Yes," I muttered, sniffing. "He shouldn't have kept secrets. Okay, I did it partly for revenge. I thought Riley would convince him not to sleep with that guy, but when Riley didn't say anything, I just..." I huffed.

"Alex..." Lexi shook her head and grabbed the towel on her shoulder to wipe her hands. "You went too far."

"I know," I whined. "He just made me so... It just feels unfair." Like, if my relationship with Jay were being taken away for someone he actually had a chance with, that'd be something else. But for this, I had to lose something that'd been making me happy.

"You knew how Jay was, though. You two weren't serious and he's so wilful."

"I know," I repeated.

"Alex, top-notch, remember?" She pointed a clay-caked nail at me. "You have got to stop getting involved with sub-par guys."

"Should you talk that way about a friend?" I sniffled.

"I can say that because he's a friend." Lexi gave a pitiful smile. "You should apologize to him. If he gets his heart broken, just be there for him."

**

I took Lexi's advice and Jay and I made up. But Jay and Lexi's friendship ended a short while after. I was strangely caught in the middle, not knowing what to say when Jay cheated on Elias. It wasn't cheating by his standards since they "technically weren't dating." But Sasha, Lexi, me, and Jay had gone out to have some Friendship Time, and Jay passed us all up for a quick lay with a random girl. Lexi was furious, mostly on my behalf.

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