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Pen Your Pride

Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without." - Confucius 

That’s my life motto right there. That’s honestly one of my favorite quotes ever!

I’ve changed Alexander’s name to Elijah. I really like it better for some reason plus I have a friend named Alexander and idk I think it’s awkward

RECAP: “Let me help you” were the next words that left his mouth and for once in my life I decided to take a chance. This is how I ended up in Elijah’s house again for the second time in just 2 days.

I walked hand in hand with Elijah as we made the way to his house. I was still a little wary but as we entered through the door. That feeling began to disappear. He led me to the couch and sat down next to me.

“Cass I don’t want to force you to do anything or tell me anything okay. I just want to be here for you”. I was grateful for this. I could hear the honesty in his voice and it was no doubt in my mind what he said was true.

He ordered Chinese food and we spent the whole day watching Disney movies which I really really love. Moments like this seemed so simple. Like I had nothing in the world to worry about. I felt relaxed and in peace for once in a long time. However, I knew this wouldn’t last long, and as soon as I went home everything would go back to normal. Lucas’s threat is still fresh on my mind. I just hope when I do go back home, Lucas is already asleep.

I must’ve been zoned out for a while because when I turned back to watch the movie it was over. The ending credits were now playing and Eli was staring at me intently. The look on his face made my heart flutter. In a good way. He slowly scooted closer towards me on the couch and cautiously lowered his face towards mine. His nose was now touching mine and I found myself leaning forward to kiss him. He quickly took control on the kiss and flipped me in a way so that I was under him. He trailed kisses across my collarbone and then met my lips again. I felt alive. HE ignited something in me that I didn’t know existed. I felt like I was on top of the world. The feelings he ignites in me I can’t even fathom let alone fully explain. The way his lips cover mine, how his tongue feels with mine, the warmth that radiates from his body, the way his hands grip my waist but still feel gentle at the same time. We continued our few moments of bliss until I felt his hands trail down my thighs. Flashbacks instantly clouded my brain. I began shaking and feeling hot. At this moment I no longer saw Eli but in the figments of my imagination I saw Lucas on top of me. I heard soft incoherent words coming from someone but I couldn’t register what the person was saying.  I started shaking uncontrollably and I closed my eyes. I felt warm arms engulf me and I started calming down. I blinked my eyes open and saw Eli hovering over me with a sad look plastered on his face. I hadn’t even realized I was crying until he slowly touched my face and wiped away the tears.

“Baby, --are you okay?”

The tone of his voice made my heart ache for some reason. He sounded so sad and it was my fault. I probably scared him or something with my outburst.

He played with my hands, drawing circles on my palms in a calming manner. He was just a calming person in general. If this was anyone else I wouldn’t even be able to be this close to them and my flashbacks would have lasted way longer.

“Uhh no” I said in a barely audible whisper. Honestly, I’m tired of keeping things inside. I feel like imma explode. I need someone to talk to. Elijah seems like a good person for that. I just hope I don’t regret telling him all of this.

Before Eli could even say anything I decided to just come out with the question I know I needed an answer for.

“Can I trust you?”

Sunshine of Mine (interracial) BWWMRead this story for FREE!