Chapter XI - Good Morning, Welcome to Hell

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AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Hello people of Wattpad!

I hope you guys like this chapter. It gets pretty steamy and I'm sorry if it's just a little to heavy. I also would like to apologize for the length of the text, because it's shorter than 2000 words which is a first and I wanted to try to leave you all off with a cliffhanger. weeeeeeeeee. I will update as soon as possible!

xo,

-A.

Trevor’s point of view

Jacklyn. She’s never had it easy. I had only thought her life had a few bumps and her spirit had countable scars, but I was wrong. I never knew how bad she had it. I understand what it’s like for her to lose both parents, seeing as I had lost my own quite a few years back, however that fact was but a microscopic detail in her life. She’s beaten up, bruised and broken. But she still shines bright. Jacklyn stays the most beautiful human I’ve ever come to know.

She is strong; even if she crumbled down multiple times, in my arms or not. She still holds herself up like a concrete wall. Pieces of her do fall to the ground, but nevertheless, she’s reparable. She used to do it all by herself, but now, I just wish I were the one to fix her.

That’s my problem here. After the hours spent holding her fragile body in my arms with her telling me about her entire past, I want to be the one she can lean on to be there for her, I want to be closer to her even though there is no space between us, but I can’t. I can’t be the one. I know I can only be the one to speed the process of erosion in her world. Although I feel that adorning pull towards her, I would only be selfish to keep her with me in such an intimate matter.

I don’t understand why it took me so long to finally come to the realization that I’m endlessly falling for this kind-hearted being. It took years. All those times I made Oliver help me prank her to direct her attention towards me. All those times I put gum in her or her dolls’ hair or when I would pick a fight with her. All those moments made for her to talk to me or yell at me or even just look at me, even if it was a cold deadly glare; they were all executed for the simple reason that I wanted- craved- her attention.

How could I just notice now?

Even as a child I was struck by her, I just didn’t know. And during this very moment, as I watch her body make tiny movements, her lungs heaving for air with an arm wrapped around me, it’s even more evident than a stain on a white shirt:

I love Jacklyn Rose James.

I don’t want to see her suffer anymore and I’m terrified to the bone that I’ll just hurt her even more. I want her- I want her so badly- but I don’t want to be the guy to destroy her more. She needs someone to help build her back up. It can’t be me I just know it isn’t possible. I have already hurt her too many times to count during the short four months she has been here. I don’t deserve her shining soul.

I look down at her stirring figure and I quickly notice her hold on me tighten. Her soft pink lips part ever so slightly, letting out a few hiccups in her slumber. She cried for hours and I couldn’t help but let a few of my own tears fall. Her story was heart shattering. How she lost her mother, how she got into countless encounters with authorities, how she was physically, mentally and sexually abused. Jackie is a woman to be admired by others. No matter how dark and deep she gets buried underground she still digs herself back out and victors over her demons.

I wish I were able to conquer my own.

She stirs once more in my hold, but doesn’t pull away. Instead, her legs tangle themselves between mine and she readjusts her face on my bare chest.

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