The blade slit across her wrist. The cuts went all the way up her shoulders.
It was an addiction.
Beth couldn't help it. She let the blade glide across her skin as it pleased. She didn't even try to stop at this point. Her whole world had already crumbled. He dad was an alcoholic. Didn't even care abut her. And her mom died in a car accident. "Somebody kill me, please." She begged.
All her friends would say "Why don't you just stop?" It's not that easy. Beth whispered,
"It's an addiction."
All her pain is hidden underneath her sleeves, you don't really know who I am. You'll never really know who I am. I'm different, not who you expect, but you wouldn't come close enough to realize how painful it is. They think you can just stop cutting and move on, but it's not like that. The scars tell a story of another battle that I've lost.
"Another piece of me I can't get back."
Her sobs filled the room, echoing off each colorless wall. They claim they love me, then they leave. They never help, they make it worse. They add scars to my wrists, and tears on my face. They make me fake a smile, and hide the pain behind my eyes. It hurts.
Nobody gets how hard it is, to stop, to recover. Whenever I roll up my sleeves, I suffer. The scars are there to mock me, tell me I'm not good enough and their right. They say things will be alright. They're wrong. Everythinggets worse. ItellthemthatI try. I tell them I'm fine but it's all lies.
"They say they care, but they don't."
Tears rolled down my cheeks, all you have to do is lie. They'll believe you, they don't care enough to realize that you're not fine. People say the struggle is part of your story, they say it will turn out fine. They lie to your face, tell you that you'll survive but they all know you won't. They give up on you, leave you. They act like they want you to live but really they're saying "Kill yourself." They'll never realize that words hurt.
"I've tried can I just give up already?"
My life isn't worth living, they don't really care. There's always something that holds me back, that wants me to live. Even though they don't. They say "You'll make it, I believe in you." But they really mean "Go cut yourself." They don't understand, that what you need is love. Nobody will ever love the girl with scars. They'll never love her.
"Nobody deserves to go through this, but me."
Nobody should have to suffer. Except me. I deserve it all, what they say about me is true. I know they say things, I know they hate me. They don't care if I suffer, they don't care if I'm fine or not. They don't care if I'm on the verge of killing myself and they never will. They know that they're the reason why there's cuts all the way up my arms.