chapter 2 - Am i seeing this clearly?

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Chapter two

It’s been a few weeks now, since my parents died. To be honest with you, I don’t really feel any difference. However, I’m absolutely gutted, knowing the fact that the people who gave me the privilege to be born, are dead. There’s not much I can do unfortunately. Even though my parents didn’t impact my life at all, I feel like my existence is worthless. I have no friends and now I have no family. I’m alone. It’s only been a couple of days that I’ve been in this care home, its literally full of wild kids and hungry teenagers. This girl who’s my age, yeah she’s pregnant. Godamn. How am I going to have my own privacy in this house. I don’t mind it though. My social carer,Barry,told me that they have trips to camping, and holidays like going abroad. I have never went abroad. The furthest place I’ve been to is to my aunt kelly’s house, and she only lives in Newcastle, its only like 2-3 hours away from where I live. Barry told me that they chose a bunch of 18 year olds to a trip in derwent hill, in Keswick. I’d like to make new friends so I’m waiting for them to come back from their trip. Barry is so helpful, I’m so close to him now. He’s like my father. Wow, this is turning into a Tracey Beaker story now. Anyway Barry told me that the teenagers are coming back late this afternoon. As I waited for their arrival, I sat in the huge lounge, refreshing my Tumblr feed. I got bored after a while so I read some tweets. One of them was to do with suicidal thoughts, I swear to god these things are pissing me off. But for some reason I don’t hate it as much anymore. I think these emo’s do it because they’re lonely. But I’m lonely and I don’t think I would ever have suicidal thoughts, however I really don’t hate self-harm anymore. People say that cutting helps you, it drains out the pain and sorrow. One of the quotes I’d seen on Tumblr said something like ‘The girl likes to paint, her arm is the canvas and the brush is a blade’. Man is that deep, or what? Now that I’ve got so much time now, I usually just sit there and eat… eat away the boredom. Its 7:00pm and the kids should be here any minute now. Everybody went and sat outside, on the benches and waited for the bus to approach.

“Hey, aren’t you coming? Their gonna be here now.” This kid came and sat next to me. His green eyes glisten with excitement, he seemed to be quite young, 16 years old I suppose.

“I don’t even know the people who are coming, there’s no point of me waiting for them.” I showed no interest and the kids face turned from happy to shocked. I think maybe it’s because of the way I said it, sternly.

“Yeah, I know you don’t know them, but im guessing you’ll be here for a while seeing as you have nowhere to go. The people everyone’s waiting for are your age, you’d mix in really well. Plus if you sit on your lazy ass all day, your not going to make any friends.

Well then. This kid sure knows how to surprise and persuade people. Wait a minute, this kid just called me lazy, in fact he called ‘my ass’ lazy. Well its no lie.

“Who the hell are you anyway? But I suppose you’re right. If I wanna make any friends I need to communicate with people”, I spoke sternly until I realised this kid is right. I’m ot exactly progressing if I don’t talk to anyone.

“My name’s joey, I’ve been here for 4 years now, I know everyone pretty well. Everyone here is my family, and you, are a part of my family now”, he gave me a comforting smile and I gave one in return.

 “Thanks kid, my name is Abbey. I.. erm I’m new here. I came because my parents passed away”, I hung my head down to the floor, holding back a few tears.

“Gee, I’m sorry. Now that you’re here, I’ll make sure you have a great time. In my 4 years of experience, I’ve witnessed that no one feels isolated or lonely here. You’ll always have some one to talk to. You ok?”. He looked up at me with his green orbs burning into mine, waiting for a response.

“Yeah, I am thanks Joey. I really appreciate your advice”. I gave him a reassuring smile. After we got to know each other a little bit more, we headed outside onto the terrace. The bug bus arrived and I felt a rush of excitement.

They all came out one by one. They seemed to have an amazing time. They continued to come out and I swear I though this mine will never come to an end. I turned around and entered the house, holding the door open for everyone. I could hear so many people gossiping and welcoming others back.

“Aaah, you’re back finally. We’ve missed you so much. Did you enjoy your time?”. I could hear Tracy, the ‘mother’ of all of us kids, talking to what I presume was one of the teenagers.

“Yeah, I enjoyed it. They didn’t have any wifi though”, some guy sighed. I could recognise that deep husky voice anywhere. I looked back, to my surprise, my guess was right. It was him!

Seriously, out of all people, it had to be him. Destiny is a bitch. As soon as I noticed his face, I gave up holding the door. There is no way he will see my face. Ever. If he does, my life is over.

Yes i know, its a bit shorter this time.Havent had many reads yet :'( i'll still update, because im nice. Anyway vote comment and follow. abbeys life will change completely, trust me.

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