Chapter 37

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It's now Sunday, the day that the boys go to America. I can no longer just pop round to see them anymore. It's not going to be the 20 minute walk to see them anymore. Its going to be hours on the plane. That's even if it would be appropriate to see them that it. It's not anymore since Luke's visit on Friday. Yesterday was crappy. The girls and I had to meet Ronnie in the studio to meet the person that's going to manage us now that he's going to be in  LA with the boys. We also had to work on some music so we can start working on making an EP so we can start getting out there and start being noticed. But I wasn't exactly in the most productive mood. The girls understood, I told them what happened and they were really patient about it, we just talked about music that day and arranged to work on actually singing next week. The new manager Lisa was fine with that. As much as I love Ronnie I think we are going to like Lisa better, I think she will handle managing us girls better than him considering she knows how girls work. She's really sweet and funny and down to earth but doesn't look like the type that will let us go with any shit, she is about her work but that's what we need, we want to take this seriously and get somewhere so she is exactly what we need.

All us girls met up at the studio lounge room today just so we can hang and talk about music stuff but not having any stress. We didn't have to come in, we just wanted to hang. I love these girls but I couldn't stop thinking about the fact the boys were leaving today. We basically just talked and listened to music, I guess we didn't want to talk about work today which was perfectly fine with me.

I don't understand why I am so down about it all. I basically refused to say I love him so I can't be in that deep that I am basically becoming semi depressed because we are taking a break. We all left for home around 4. Me and Mia were just lazing around in our PJ's, outside wasn't hot today but inside the house was boiling so it was vest tops and flannel shorts. We were both quietly watching the green mile with a bowl of popcorn. Such a sad but amazing film. The movie just ended and we turned on the news when Mia decided to speak up.

"so are you going to tell me exactly what happened on Friday" she said turning down the volume of the TV and turned to face me.

"it was nothing don't worry about it" I lied, she didn't need to worry about my problems.

"its obviously not nothing, you are hardly talking, you only left the house for work since Wednesday. You've been basically ignoring me so yeah I am going to worry, and I don't want any of your bullshit I want the truth and I want it now. If not I'll call up one of the boys and I'll get it from them". That's my sister, always so stubborn, I knew for a fact she wouldn't let up and keep to her word about calling the boys so she might as well hear it from me.

"On Wednesday Luke told me he loved me, I didn't say it back, things got awkward. He came back on Friday saying if I didn't say it back then while he goes on tour we are over. I couldn't say it though, I didn't believed I did love him so I couldn't say it".

"Wow, I didn't not expect that, I just thought you might of got into a little fight not break up".

"Yeah and now all I can think about is the fact that we are over, I don't feel like talking, I don't feel like doing anything. I only left the house cause it was for work and I don't think I can start abusing that when we haven't even started anything yet. I don't understand why I am getting so over worked on it, the reason it is over is because I couldn't say that I love him so what's this amazingly big problem".

"Why didn't you just say you loved him?" Mia said picking up some popcorn and popping them in her mouth like what she just said was so simple.

"Telling someone you love them isn't simple, unless you mean it".

"But you would of meant it" She answered chomping on more popcorn.

"Erm I don't really think that you can decide that Mia".

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