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Pen Your Pride

He held me in his arms out in front of him and my head at the same height as his.He lowered me down slowly so I was stood on the grass that backed onto the pond.

He had his arms around my back and held me tighter when the wind blew past.I held onto his arms incase he let go , knowing him , he would.He smiled at me in a way that I had never seen him smile at me before.

"What are we doing?" I said curious and slightly confused at how cheesy this was, still standing in the position we were in before.He was thinking on what to say to me , you could see it in his eyes.

"This." he gave me that look again before gently leaning in towards me.Wait!Was he doing what I think he was doing!?

His lips finally touched mine. I was shocked that he did this but in a good way or a way in only to confuse me.I couldn't just stand here forever, I leaded in and kissed him back feeling nervous yet excited and it was strange, in a nice way.

I didn't notice he had picked me back up again and it started to rain.I had never felt like this before , it must have been fate (as cheesy as it sounds) it must have been.He had everything I loved someone taller than me , has bigger hands than me , understands me and loves me for who I am. Our lips moved together perfectly,better than I could of imagined it to be.

But then I stopped.

I can't do this.

I pulled away and tears welled up in my eyes once again , for a supposedly strong person I wasn't doing very well at the moment.

"What's up babe?!"He said staring into my eyes and taking my hands and holding them in his in a kind of protective way.

"I can't do this , We can't be doing this Michael." I let yet another tear slip.

"Why !? We have known each other for the whole of our lives , this is what is supposed to happen!" He said sounding overpowering yet still gently so it still sounded like him.

"Michael. I have cancer. Ill die and you'll get over it. You'll be a husband and have children and some day have grandchildren. Im never going to have that and I don't to mess any of that up for you. You don't need me , you have everything going for you. Your gorgeous, a personality that compares to no one. I want to be with you for the rest of our lives and I know its supposed to happen because I love you. But I can't get any closer to you because I'm losing this fight and I can't cope with it. I love you but we just can't do this."

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