There was always something serene in the way you can sit next to someone special to you without having . Immersing yourself in a silent connection. A wordless conversation. Eyes closed. Heart open.
I always felt this way with Richter. On some days after class we'd retreat to our little corner in the school lobby and I would whip out my PSP and he would listen to his music. We didn't need to always be talking to be best friends, there was never any pressure like that. Whenever we did talk it would always be animated. About our misadventures for the day, about the people we liked and didn't like. Nothing like class separation really got in the way of our friendship.
Up until recently.
Like most teenagers of the modern world we had Facebook. The moment my browser pops up I simply typed in "fa" and automatically the URL pops up. The first thing I saw was a message from Richter.
"You ignored me after class today"
I quickly replied, "I'm so sorry! D: I didn't see you. Kat and Mina asked me to join this conversation about dudes. You know how they are :))"
I felt a bit bad that I didn't see him. I didn't ignore him on purpose or anything, but Richter never really made much of a presence most of the time and he was never the type to walk up to someone and call them out. You would approach him, that was the norm, almost never vise versa.
I expected him to take it well, as he does most of the time. Until his reply popped up.
"Are you replacing me with other people already? Are we still friends?"
This took me by surprise. I stared at the screen for a while, pondering what to reply. It's easy to see that I struck a nerve. But this sudden accusation was very out of character for Richter. He gets moody, yes, but not in this manner. He was the guy who always pulled me out of my crazy emotions. The guy who helped me through so much of my internal struggles. He was my best friend for crying out loud. And putting all that aside, we were in our sanctuary talking about our terrible math homework just yesterday. Blowing up in my face was out of character for him. I felt it in my gut.
"What are you talking about?? Of course we're still friends! My dear, just because I'm talking to other people does not mean i'm REPLACING you. I love you way too much to do that. you know that :("
I meant everything I said too. It never felt weird to tell him I loved him, I know I did. Platonic hugs and kisses everywhere.
The little icon in the chat was making it obvious that Richter was typing replies then backspacing them. The little speech bubble icon at the bottom was spazzing. This was definitely not a good sign. His reply finally came up after what seemed like mini eternities.
"I don't feel it."
"Your love or whatever. You're always with other people. You have all these friends that I'm not friends with anyway and you pick them over me. How can you say we're friends or anything if you hang out with people who obviously don't know you as well as I do."
I couldn't understand what he was talking about or where it was coming from. He was talking like he didn't have any other friends but me, and I knew that wasn't true. I'd see him with his group of buddies some days, talking about their favorite bands and making inappropriate jokes they know most of the girls don't understand. He has his friends and I had mine but that doesn't nullify our friendship. I was getting pissed.
You have other friends too, and I don't question any of them. So I think you should respect that I have other friends who aren't you. I don't understand where this is coming from. Is something wrong?"
I felt my heart sink as he logged off immediately after seeing my reply. He didn't want to talk about it. I put my head on my desk and let out a frustrated sigh. Something was very wrong with this. It's not as if we've never argued before but this was new. Richter was acting weird. Snapping at me without warning?
Richter was never one to have a man period.
"Why won't you tell me?" I buried my face into my hands. I decided to take action the next day at school. We need to talk about this, it feels serious. I placed my earphones on and went back to surfing the internet while my EDM played in the background.
The next day at school I could feel my heart constrict when I saw Richter from afar.
"Here we go." I thought, clenching my fists. I didn't exactly practice what I was going to tell him. I wanted to let my heart do the talking. This was Richter, not some guy. No formalities, all real. That's the way we've always been.
I went up to him and put my hand on his bony shoulder.
"Richter," I said slowly, not looking him in the eyes " about last night I-"
I was cut off by Richter's overjoyed tone
"Adina! Check out the Pokemon I caught during Chemistry!" Richter said, showing me the screen of his iPhone.
"During Chemistry? You obviously lack the human emotion of fear, man."
"Bah. It was worth it. Icaught an Abra" he said, waving his phone in my face triumphantly, the Pokemon's sprite in view.
I shook my head "You risked getting sanctioned for an Abra. Really?"
We both laughed. The conversation went deeper and deeper into Pokemon until I decided it was time to head home. I figured last night's episode had blown over and I ended up not asking him about it.
Curse my attention span to hell.
I went home that day humming a happy song.
"Richter's probably okay now"
I forgot that nobody ever is, really.
Hey what's up.
Thanks for taking some time to read this, I really appreciate it! Comments and suggestions are welcome :) I also don't know how long this story is gonna end up but I assure you it's filled with potential and I've already planned a lot for it.
Also please don't eat me I am but a humble awkward potato writing little stories.
YOU ARE READING
Adina always found a best friend in Richter and finds herself lost after he loses himself as well. She is very nearly about to give up on it all when the most unlikely of characters drops in like a godsend. "I don't know you much. But please help me"